Marketing STDs (Sneaky, Tricky, Deceptive!) #2: Ridiculous Gym Advertisements

 "I notice increasing reluctance on the part of marketing executives to use judgment; they are coming to rely too much on research, and they use it as a drunkard uses a lamp post -- for support, rather than for illumination."

-- DAVID OGILVY

Ok, ok... this post doesn't really belong in my Marketing STD category *technically*; this has nothing to do with sneaky food labels, legal loopholes, or marketing ploys meant to set you up for failure.  This is, however, a massive rant I've been meaning to have for a while ever since I signed up for a 1-Week Trial of our local Equinox Fitness Club here in Santa Monica, CA, and I thought it pertinent to also introduce Media STDs in this section of my blog, as well.

If you are unfamiliar with Equinox clubs, they cost like a BILLION dollars a month for a membership.  Super snooty.  The Equinox I visited had barely adequate amounts of equipment (I'm sure others are nicer... this was a smaller club, it seemed).  The club is mostly known for it's fabulous free group exercise and yoga classes, as well as it's status symbol (in my opinion).  Anyway, my friend asked me to try the gym out, so there I was sitting in a sales rep's office waiting for her to bombard me with all kinds of sales pitches (just let me sign my waiver and get my sweat on, woman!).

As I was sitting there, I see an advertisement that was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen a gym advertise, and it immediately turned me off to Equinox for all eternity.  Companies spend millions of dollars on ad campaigns, research, psychological consumerism studies, and understanding their target markets.  I studied consumer psychology and advertising while in college, and believe me:  There is not one aspect of an advertisement that is haphazard.  Everything is calculated, researched, put through consumer trials and focus groups, and perfectly well-intentioned.  Everything from where the light hits, to which direction the angles of the subject's body contours point to, to the colors and prop placements, are ALL purposeful. Therefore, something as simple as a print ad can actually speak volumes about a company, what it is trying to represent itself as, who it is trying to target and sell to, and what message it wants to communicate to those whom it wants to be listening.

This is the ad I saw in the Equinox sales rep's office:

So the ad is campaigning the notion of "Focus".  Their slogan is, "It's Not Fitness. It's LIFE." They are trying to tell you that by being a part of their gym, they will help you focus, or possibly to be determined and persevere in pursuing your goals.  But... focus on what?????  What do you see in this picture?  I see two fashion models with extremely lacking amounts of muscle or fat, and who in fact look unnaturally thin, all glammed up and trying to arm wrestle over.... cake and pastries?!?!  What in the actual hell is being advertised in this?  Someone please, enlighten me.  What message are they even trying to send?  That their gym members will be focused and will look rich, glamorous, unhealthily lean and can overcome cake??  Look at where the angles of their elbows point to:  Plates of cookies.  And while they seem to be intently staring at each other, their gaze is directly in line with a wedding cake.  Lots of make up, accessories, and sleek hair-dos speaks nothing to me of getting my ass in the gym and working on my health and fitness... I mean, that's what a gym is designed for, right?

I personally go to Spectrum, and thought I would snap a shot of their print ads for the effect of a stark contrast:

Healthy, naturally built-looking humanoid whose body doubles as a spin room, with the logo "Real Change Begins on the Inside", which is SO TRUE when it comes to results, or really anything in life.  This, in complete contrast to the seemingly outward-appearance-only campaign from Equinox.

Whilst I may be biased in my interpretations of these two clubs based on my tenure at Spectrum versus my only 1-time visit to Equinox, I can certainly surmise that most would agree that the message of Spectrum's ad is one that is both logically and aesthetically healthy, promotes positive ideas and body image, and encourages people to work out.  The Equinox one?  Makes me want to feed super models some cake and tell them to do some bicep curls before they attempt another arm wrestling match.

Moral to the story? 

Of course, there are many other offenders than just Equinox.  I mean, commercials like this actually DO exist..... but French-speaking Canada doesn't count. ;)

Marketing STD #2:  Ridiculous Gym Advertisements.  YOU'VE BEEN FOREWARNED.

Marketing STDs (Sneaky, Tricky, Deceptive!) #1: Labelus Confusionus

One of my fitness friends (we'll call him "Max") and I joke around about what we call "Marketing STDs" -- Sneaky, Tricky, and/or Deceptive marketing techniques used by delightful companies out there who will go to just about any lengths they are legally allowed in order to reach their sales figures.  My friend and I will occasionally share stories with one another about things we've seen or witnessed other people fall prey to, and assign scientific names to the mSTD that has been presented.  We are, after all, dweebus geeks who find humor in Latinizing modern English. ;)

I hate marketing.  I understand it is necessary and I am fascinated by the consumer psychology behind it, but at the end of the day, the purpose of most for-profit businesses is to make a profit (duh!), which means they need volume in their sales, which means they will do what they need to do to sell to as many people as possible.  All of this processed crap "diet" food that is labeled as "healthy", "all natural", "low-fat", etc etc etc is like someone trying to sell moonshine at an AA meeting.  I don't like anything about it, particularly since I bought into it for some TEN YEARS before I learned about clean eating and adopted the lifestyle.

This particular example I'm about to show is a case of confusing marketing. It requires people to do math, which, believe it or not, many people do not like to do.  Especially dieters who are so desperate to find foods that resemble the ones they used to love because they can't bear to let it go.  No one said quitting cold turkey was fun, but there comes a point in time when you have to decide whether you're going to take a hard look at what you're putting in your body, or you're going to look the other way and continue to live in Make Believe Land and wonder why you are "eating right" and "exercising" and still not losing weight. 

My esteemed colleagues, allow me to introduce our first Marketing STD:  A case of Labelus Confusionus.  It's generic name is label confusion, and this microwaveable popcorn product is INFECTED. :D

A friend of mine chows down on this all the time.  She is a serial dieter who constantly bemoans her inability to lose weight despite a solid diet of diet food, tons of cardio (translation:  30 minutes on the elliptical at level 2) and a bit of a heavy drinking problem (but that's another story).   I kindly asked her if she'd ever thought of a more natural substitute, such as air-popped popcorn, as she was explaining to me all the heath benefits of what she was eating for only "15 calories in the whole bag!"  

Now before you go burning down my door, please know that I'm not hating on popcorn.  It is a high protein, high fiber snack that is filling and a lot better for you than potato chips.  The problem is when you start adding artificial crap into like "Butter Flavoring" and preservatives, but we'll save that for another mSTD post.  Another problem is when you aren't accustomed to reading labels and truly, genuinely think there are only 15 calories in a whole bag of popcorn.

When I got to work, I found the same product in our cupboards so I checked out the nutrition label, and here's what I saw: 

More specifically, check the label:

I don't blame my friend.  Most people who are not totally freakish about reading their labels, will typically just look at the basic nutrition facts.  Many more people will also look to see how many servings are in the container at hand.  But I won't lie -- if you really wanted to compute just what exactly is in a bag of this popcorn, it can get a little sticky.

My friend's claim that there are "Only 15 calories in a bag!" is partly true -- there are 15 calories.  But "only"?  No way, jose.  There are 15 calories in one cup of the popcorn once it's been popped.  It's time to do some math to see just what the nutrient content is of this product.

We can see that the serving size is EITHER 2 tbsp un-popped kernels, or 1 cup of popped popcorn.  BUT---we can see from the very top of the label that 2 tbsp of un-popped kernels equates to actually FIVE (5) cups of un-popped popcorn.  And of those 2 tbsp of un-popped kernels, there are 3 servings of them in one bag.  And then since there are 3 bags in a box, there are 9 servings of 2-tbsp servings in the whole box (3 in a bag * 3 bags in a box)

So what does this mean?  Three 2-tbsp servings of un-popped kernels = 6 tbsp total of un-popped kernels.  If 2 tbsp = 5 cups popped, then the whole bag has 15 cups of popped popcorn.  Now let's relate that back to the nutrition facts.  Ignore the 2 tbsp statistics, and let's just look at the nutrition facts of the ONE cup of popped popcorn:

We know the calories for 1 cup of popped popcorn are 15, but how did we figure out those other quantities?  And why are there asterisks for Fat and Saturated Fat?  Well, I'll tell you why.  They explain it all in the label's "FINE PRINT".  Apologies for the poor quality of the photo (compliments of the iPhone 5, whose camera SUCKS), but check out this small paragraph:

If you can't read it, it says "Amount [of fat] in un-popped popcorn [is 2g].  As popped, 1 cup provides 0g total fat..." It also tells us the amount of sodium, carbs, protein and fiber in one cup of popped popcorn.  My friend, who thought she was eating a fat free snack with only 15 calories in the whole bag, was veeeerry wrong.  As long as there is less than half a gram of fat, the label can legally say 0g, or 0%.  If 2-tbsp of unpopped kernels version have 2g of fat per serving, do you think that fat magically vanishes in the microwaving process?  Lies!  Since 2 tbsp unpopped kernels = 5 cups popped, then 1 cup popped would have 2g/5 servings = 0.4g fat.  Less than half a gram = 0g of fat in the marketing world.  In statistics, we call this a "rounding error".  

On a diet based off of 2,000 calories, this equates to a meager 0.6% of your daily intake. Not much, right?  But say you are like my friend, who eats the entire bag in one sitting.  Let's take what we know about 2 tbsp of unpopped kernels and multiply it by 3, which is how many servings there are in a bag:

Total Nutrition Facts:

The percentages assigned were taken from the FDA's "Recommended Daily Allowance" ("RDA") of food based on a 2,000 calorie diet.  So, if you are eating a diet higher in protein and lower in carbs, your daily intake percentages would be much different than the above.  Further, it's important to note that corn is not a complete protein.  In order for a protein to be "complete", it must contain a proper proportion of the 9 essential amino acids required by the human body for it's dietary needs.  Corn is markedly low in Trytophan and Lysine.

Otherwise, as I've said, popcorn is a relatively healthy snack, especially if you eat the air-popped kind that you make yourself, which does not include saturated oils, TBHQ preservatives, artificial flavors and "added colors", as this product does.  But you can see how daunting math-oriented labels can be for a hungry dieter looking for a cheap thrill.  My friend thought there were only 15 calories in a whole, "fat-free" bag.  She was a little shocked to know there were about 350 calories and almost 10% of her intake of fat instead!

Labulus Confusionus:  YOU'VE BEEN FOREWARNED.