Photos: A day in the life of my diet

I thought it would be fun to keep a photo journal to log the things I eat as a little change from the spreadsheet I maintain.  I am fortunately one of those people who can eat the exact same thing for three months in a row before needing a change, so keeping a Food Diary has never really been an issue for me.  It's more a matter of what I call "Nutrition Tetris" - move the pieces around until I find the most efficient and acceptable mix, and then make it concrete and seal it in blood ;)

But I mean, really, how many times have we seen sample menus and given up on them before even trying, because it didn't appear to be enough food, it appeared to be TOO much food, or it just didn't sound appealing at all?  Sometimes photos help so we can see what's on the plate... literally!

Case in point (this will require a little bit of back story first):  After much research and deliberation, I've decided to cut dairy almost completely out of my diet. That might not be a big deal to some, but you're talking to a girl who used to drink a gallon and a half of nonfat milk EACH WEEK.  In my current diet, I've been drinking about 1.5 cups of nonfat milk a day (1/2 cup in my morning oatmeal, and then a whole cup along with a protein bar before my workouts), 1 cup of nonfat cottage cheese (easy protein!), and a nonfat greek yogurt as part of an afternoon snack (something I consider a dessert... Fage 0% Mango Guanabana is my favorite!).  I take care to only consume dairy that comes from animals not treated with hormones or antibiotics (preferably organic!), but you can only trust those statements just so much.  My decision to cut dairy out was moreso to try out the theory that dairy is not good for human digestion, and that limiting it is good for skin clarity and stomach issues (I struggle with occasional IBS issues... no, I am not lactose intolerant, but I am sensitive to naturally occuring sugars such as sorbitol and oligosaccharides).  Further, dairy has sugars, and I'd rather those sugars come from whole grains and fruits; I can get my calcium from leafy greens, protein bars and my fortified oatmeal, and my protein from animal sources.  Dairy isn't necessary.

So, with that said, my normal breakfast used to be 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 1 cup of nonfat cottage cheese (pairing carbs with protein, yay!).  But now, without dairy, what's a girl to do?  After appraising my diet, I realized I wasn't getting enough healthy fats.  The only fat in my diet was coming from the serving of raw almonds I ate in the afternoon, my flaxseed oatmeal from the morning, and my Clif Builder's Bar post-workout.  The boneless skinless chicken breast that I eat at lunch is cooked sans oil in my crockpot each week with any miniscule fat deposits removed before I eat it, so I can't trust that as any reliable source of fat.  And I steam all my veggies, so olive oil is a rarity for me actually.

Because of this, I decided to add in half an avocado with my morning oatmeal (eaten separately, of course) and OH MY GOD.  Move over Peanut Butter & Chocolate, I think I have a new favorite pairing of foods!!!! Oatmeal and Avocado, who would have thought???  IT IS SO DELICIOUS TOGETHER!  On paper, it sounds disgusting.  But perhaps seeing it in photo-form will make it appear a little more appealing.  Don't knock it till you've tried it!!

So, here's my Photo Food Journal for today, May 3 2012.  This is a gym day off so this diet is in slightly different order than the one in which I'd workout in the morning, but I'll address that on a different day :)

Breakfast (aka Meal 1) - 8am

Meal #1:
1 Serving of Trader Joe's COMPLETE Oatmeal (Plain)
1 Tbsp. Bob's Red Mill Ground Flaxseed Meal
1/4 cp Unsweetened SILK PureAlmond Milk
Half a medium-sized Haas Organic Avocado
20 Fl. Oz. Water

Nutritional Information*
Total Calories:  349
Total Fat:  18.9g (37%)
Total Saturated Fat: 3.3g (9.3%)
Total Carbs:  39.3g (15.7%)
Total Fiber:  14.3g (47.5%)
Total Cholesterol:  1mg (0.3%)
Total Sodium:  77.5mg (3.9%)
Total Protein:  11.8g (8.4%)

Snack (aka Meal #2) - 10am

Meal #2:
1 Trader Joe's Blueberry Mini Fiber Cake
1.5 cps Mixed Green Salad (plain - no dressing or anything)
12 fl oz. Organic Mint Green Tea

Nutritional Information*
Total Calories:  105
Total Fat: 1.5g (2.9%)
Total Saturated Fat: 0g (0%)
Total Carbs:  24g (9.6%)
Total Fiber: 13g (43%)
Total Cholesterol:  0mg (0%)
Total Sodium:  196mg (9.8%)
Total Protein:  6g (4.3%)

Lunch! Aka Meal #3 - 12pm

Meal #3:
6oz Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast (cooked in crockpot, no fats or oils added) - free range, no antibiotics or hormones used
1 cp Organic Green Peas
1 Organic Gala Apple
20 Fl. Oz. Water

Nutritional Information*
Total Calories:  340
Total Fat:  2.1g (4.1%)
Total Saturated Fat: 0g (0%)
Total Carbs:  40g (16%)
Total Fiber: 10g (34.7%)
Total Cholesterol:  82.5mg (2.8%)
Total Sodium:  354mg (17.7%)
Total Protein:  42.5g (30.4%)

Snack #1! (Aka Meal #4) - 2p

Meal #4:
Clif Builder's Bar (Mint Chocolate flavor)
12 Fl Oz. Organic Decaf Coffee
1 tbsp CoffeeMate "Natural Bliss" Coffee Creamer (Sweet Cream flavor)

Nutritional Information*
Total Calories: 305
Total Fat:  9.5g (18.6%)
Total Saturated Fat: 6g (14.7%)
Total Carbs:  36g (14.4%)
Total Fiber:  4g (13%)
Total Cholesterol: 82.5mg (2.8%)
Total Sodium:  10mg (3.3%)
Total Protein:  20g (14.3%)

Normally I would have coffee, yogurt and a piece of fruit for Meal #4 and save my Protein Bar for Meal #6 right before my workout (if I work out in the evening) or Meal #2 right after my workout (if I workout in the morning), but today I was hungry and felt like having it in the middle of the day :)

Snack #2 (aka Meal #5) - 4p

 Meal #5:
1 Fage 0% Nonfat Greek Yogurt (Blueberry & Acai flavor)
1 Organic Naval Orange
20 Fl. Oz. water

Nutritional Information*
Total Calories:  201
Total Fat:  0g (0%)
Total Saturated Fat: 0g (0%)
Total Carbs: 39g (15.6%)
Total Fiber: 4g (13%)
Total Cholesterol:  0mg (0%)
Total Sodium:  47mg (2.4%)
Total Protein:  15g (10.7%)

Snack #3 (aka Meal #6) - 6p

 Meal #6:
2 Celery Stalks (cut in half)
1 bag of Trader Joe's "Just a Handful of Raw Almonds"

Nutritional Information*
Total Calories: 217
Total Fat:  17g (33.3%)
Total Saturated Fat: 1.5g (4.3%)
Total Carbs:  12g (4.8%)
Total Fiber:  6g (20%)
Total Cholesterol: 0mg (0%)
Total Sodium:  99mg (5%)
Total Protein:  8g (5.7%)

[I forgot to take a picutre of my dinner last night :P It's nothing special... just imagine and Spinach Egg Scramble with a side of Broccoli and Cauliflower :) ]

Meal #7:
Spinach and Egg Scramble:
----1 Whole Organic Extra Large Brown Egg (Free Range, no antibiotics or hormones)
----1/2 cup 100% liquid egg whites
----1 cup spinach (sauteed in water with salt, pepper and garlic)
----Fresh Dill and Curry Powder for flavor
1 cp steamed Cauliflower
1/2 cp steamed broccoli
12 fl oz Zico Coconut Water

 Nutritional Information*
Total Calories: 267
Total Fat:  6.1g (11.9%)
Total Saturated Fat: 1.8g (5.1%)
Total Carbs:  28.5g (11.4%)
Total Fiber: 6.1g (20.3%)
Total Cholesterol:  245mg (81.7%)
Total Sodium:  500mg (25%)
Total Protein:  26.3g (18.8%)


*Percentages are based off of my own caloric intake. I look to eat 2,000cal/day, 23% of calories come from fat (9 calories per gram), 28% from protein (4cal/gram), and 50% from carbs (4cal/gram).

So, here's the total breakdown - in one day, I ate every two hours and got 7 meals.  I got protein, carbs, fruits, vegetables, fats and dairy.  Even a cup of (decaf) coffee!  That doesn't look like a deprivation plan now, does it?  But yet, here's is the total comprehensive nutritional breakout:

In all of this food, it amounted to:
CALORIES - 1,869
FAT - 55g (108% based on 23% of a 2,000 cal. diet, but all sources are HEALTHY fats - avocado, nuts and flaxseed - which actually help BURN fat - read more here)
Sat. FAT - 12.6g (40% based on 7% of a 2,000cal diet)
CHOLESTEROL - 338.5g (113% based on 300mg target... however, this cholesterol is from healthy animal sources, and is composed of "good" HDL cholesterol - read more here.)
SODIUM - 1,613mg (81% based on 2,000mg allowed in diet)
CARBOHYDRATES - 239.8g (96% based on 50% of 2,000cal diet)
FIBER - 58g (193% based on 30g intake target)
PROTEIN - 131g (93.3% based on 28% of a 2,000cal diet)

Not too shabby! On workout days, I also add in an extra half of a Promax bar which contributes an additional 145cals, 3g fat, 1.8g sat fat, 2.5mg cholesterol, 100mg sodium, 19g carbs, and 10g protein.  It brings my caloric intake up to 1,970cals, and let me achieve 100.2% of both my carb and protein intake.  Fat intake goes up to 113.6%, but no biggie :)

So there you have it, that's a day in the life of Megan's diet!  I routinely switch up the fruits and will switch up veggies when I get bored, although I have to be careful since my digestive system does NOT like veggies, whether they be cooked, raw, or anything in between.  I'd love to add lentils, but that (along with dried fruits) is another HUGE no-no for my tummy :(  I may consider adding Tofu to my egg white scrambles next week.  We'll have to see!

3 months!! 3 MONTHS!! :D

So 4 days ago, I marked a huge milestone - the official end of 3 whole months of eating clean.  Here was my week 13 weigh-in:

I know that when I started out on my diet, I had breached 151 lbs.  I didn't want to look at the scale so I can't say for certain, but judging by my clothes and appearance, I believe I topped out at about 152.5 lbs when I really first started.

After 2 weeks, I started measuring my body stats.  At the beginning of Week 3, I was down to 148.6lbs, 21.9 BMI, 19.3% body fat, and a blood pressure of 95/66.  If, at week 3, I was 19.3% body fat, I'm going to say that I started at Week 0 with 20% body fat.  Progress photos and original weigh-in snap shots can be found HERE.

After 3 months of rough training and committed dieting, I am officially down 12.7 lbs, dropped 1.3 of my BMI, lost 2.6% body fat, and....well, my blood pressure has never been an issue, so no need to quantify that.

TWELVE AND A HALF POUNDS!!  I still don't see it, but I feel like.  My clothes are all looser, and I just bought my first SIZE SMALL bikini bottom! I feel beautiful, powerful, and successful.  I feel like I can respect myself now as much as people around me seem to respect me.  I feel also feel effortlessly confident, and I feel worthy.  Now, I don't like it when people rely on their image for self-worth, but when I say I feel "worthy", I think it's more a matter of me respecting MYSELF, being worthy of MYSELF, and being deserving of all the good things I've received in life.  There is something to be said about practicing self-control, doing the right thing, sticking to a commitment and not being weak or easily influenced by our damaging society.  It shows an inner strength and determination that demands respect for the inherent qualities of taking a stand and then standing by it.

I don't recall if I mentioned this before, but I have decided to renew my commitment and push it to December 31, 2012 as opposed to just doing this for 6 months.  I am going to stay off of alcohol until at least July - no ifs, ands or buts.  After 6 months (end of July), I will likely have lost all the weight I will have needed to lose, and will need to transition to a maintanence program aimed at gaining muscle weight.  That will pose a whole new challenge for me! Can you imagine, 3,500 extra calories each week just to prevent further weight loss?  That's like two ENTIRE days worth of extra food, spread out across 7 days.  It makes me wonder if I am actually eating too many calories right now, cuz I can't imagine needing to eat more each day.  I'll probably just add a protein shake somewhere in the afternoon each day to get the extra nutrition.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.  I feel fabulous, but I have a LOT of work to go.  As such, tonight, after volleyball, I will take my first mirror pictures of the flab I still have in my midsection so that I can start tracking my leanning out progress.  I am afraid to see what it looks like because I still don't feel like my body reflects all the hard work I've put into it, but it will be rewarding to look back on my progress once I've made further improvements.

Until then, gotta run! Literally! :D

PROGRESS PHOTO! Woo-hoo! :)

I'm on the right :)

Week TWELVE (omgz!): My Diet and Exercise routines

Can it be true??  In just 7 short days, I will have completed 3 months on this diet and exercise plan.  I consider this a pretty major milestone, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have kept the momentum going.  I continue to research more, learn more, change more and grow more.  What an incredible experience!

I have quit a bit of excellent news to share today.  As the DON'T QUIT saying goes...

Prior to this weekend, I honestly wasn't sure about my progress.  It kind of didin't matter if I was seeing results or not, because I was committed to seeing this thru 6 whole months regardless of what kind of results I saw.  And deep down, I knew I was approaching my fitness goals with honest, all natural, non-gimmicky science.  It was simple:  Eat clean, make sure I was meeting my caloric needs based off of my BMR and AMR, making sure those calories were composed of the correct percentages of fat, protein, and carbohydrates, and exercising intensly and smartly.  Given this approach, results weren't a matter of "if", but rather "when".

That said, however, I won't lie that I was hoping I'd see results quicker than I was.  I think by around week 10, I was beginning to wonder just how long it would take to start seeing ab definition - or at least a noticeable decline in abdominal fat.  Not that I had a lot, but it certainly was there in an unsatisfactory quantity.  But I held fast to the knowledge that while the scale hadn't budged in a while, I was still down 8lbs and clothes were noticeably fitting me better.

But then last week, in Week 11, a BIG thing happened - I was at work and running around to the printer a lot and my clothing was bothering me.  Not enough for me to think about it, until finally I was like WTF?  And then I noticed what it was that was bothering me - my underwear was slipping off my hips.  Something I never even thought to have to deal with!

And then it was yesterday that I consider the REAL moment that I got to see that things really are happening, really are changing.  I went into a sports store to buy some new bikini bottoms.  I had noticed several of my go-to's were a bit too baggy on me.  Granted, they always kind of had been - in order to find ones that fit my hips without giving me a muffin top, they typically were a little loose in the caboose-area, if ya know what I mean.  Also, I used to only buy my bikini's at Target.  So I felt I was ready to try out some new looks and possibly buy some more quality swimwear.

I walked into Pacific Sunwear and was feeling ambitious - I picked out styles that normally would have looked hideous on me (string bikinis, as opposed to the ones with thicker waistbands).  And, I chose one full size smaller than I have been my WHOLE. ENTIRE. LIFE.

The result?  $100 of purchases of bikinis that confirmed in the mirror what I've suspected the past couple weeks:  I have trimmed some serious inches off of my midsection. !!!!!!!!!

In other news, I have made some more changes to my routine.  I am going to start working out in the mornings at the gym instead of after work.  I find my workouts are better, and I can enjoy my day so much more by just getting it out of the way with first thing in the morning instead of wasting all of my post-work day in the gym battling lines for equipment.  Further, I'm adding a pier-to-pier sand run to my training schedule.  So here's what my current training schedule looks like:

Monday: 

Cardio

-Free-float Elliptical for 60 minutes

Weights - Back and Chest

-Seated Row (4 sets / 10 reps / 60lbs) with 12 Eagle Crunches in between sets

-Assisted Pull-up (4 sets / 10 reps / 60 lbs assisted) with 12 balance ball crunches in between sets

-Chest fly (4 sets / 8 reps / 40 lbs)

-Posterior delt Flys (4 sets / 8 reps / 30 lbs)

-Cable Machine chest press (4 sets / 10 reps / 40 lbs)

                           

Tuesday:

Cardio

-Ramp Elliptical for 60 minutes

Weights - Lower Body

-Smith Machine Squat (4 sets / 10 reps / 60lbs) with 30 leg raises in between sets using a 25lb. dumbbell

-Incline Leg Press (4 sets / 12 reps / 75lbs) with 15 cross-over crunches between sets

-Abbducter machine (4 sets / 15 reps / 60 lbs)

-Adducter Machine (4 sets / 15 reps / 60 lbs)

-Hamstring Machine (4 sets / 10 reps / 70 lbs)

Wednesday:

Cardio

-Stair Elliptical for 60 minutes

Weights - Shoulders and Biceps

-Shoulder press (4 sets / 10 reps / 30 lbs) with 15 bicycle crunches in between sets

-Bicep curls (4 sets / 10 reps / 40 lbs)

-Shoulder Fly while doing a one-legged squat on a bosu ball (4 sets / 12 reps / 5lb weight in each hand)

-Rotator Cuff exercises using cable machine (4 sets / 8 reps / 10 lbs)

**On wednesday, I also do a 90-minute class of moderate-level yoga after work**

Thursday:

REST DAY

-I will sometimes play a couple hours of volleyball at the pier after work on this day

Friday:

Cardio 1

-2 hour lesson in volleyball on my lunch break

Cardio 2

-10 sets on the santa monica stairs.  At the base of the stairs, 25 curbside tricep dips, and at the top, 25 crunches.  This usually takes me about 45 minutes to complete, and depending on my energy levels, I may round out the hour with 4 more sets on the stairs

Saturday:

Volleyball all day - 4 to 6 hours

Sunday:

Morning run on the beach (5.5 miles)

Volleyball rest of the day - 3 to 5 hours

As for diet, my general weekday routine is as follows:

Pre-workout

One Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Fibercake Muffin

One 11.4-fl oz Zico coconut water

1/3 Promax Bar (Lemon-flavored)

Post-Workout

20 fl. oz. water

(1) Clif's BUILDER protein bar (Mint Chocolate-flavored

2 hours later

(1) package of Trader Joe's plain-flavored Complete Oatmeal with 1 tbsp ground flaxseed meal

1/4 cup nonfat milk

2 hours later

20 Fl. Oz. water

1 cup nonfat cottage cheese with a LITTLE bit of Stevia for sweetness

Lunch

20 Fl. Oz water

6 oz. poached boneless skinless chicken breast

1 cup organic peas

1 piece of fruit (lately - Mango)

2 hours later
(1) package of Trader Joe's plain-flavored Complete Oatmeal with 1 tbsp ground flaxseed meal

1/4 cup nonfat milk

2 hours later
20 Fl. Oz. water
1 Fage 0% yogurt w/ honey
2 celery stalks
1 individually-wrapped portion of raw unsalted almonds

Dinner
1/2 cup egg whites, scrambled
1 whole egg, over-easy
2 cups spinach, sauteed with some garlic in 1/4 tbsp unsalted butter
1/2 cup roasted carrots

Now, depending on my work load - especially on Wednesday with 2 workouts - I'll throw in more fruit or sometimes a whole extra protein bar.  On Saturday and Sunday, if I have played an extraordinary amount of volleyball, I may end up doubling a whole meal or throw in a protein shake on top of everything else.

To end this blog, I shall depart with a screen shot of today's weight in at the gym.  In a word:  PROGRESS!

Grief and it's Impact on Motivation

So, today is Friday the 13th, it's raining, and I just broke up with someone I cared deeply for.

Now, I'll be the first to admit I have suffered break-ups that were TERRIFICALLY worse than this one.  With this one, it was just a case of us both caring about each other but wanting/needing different things.  He is only 8 months out of a 5-year relationship with a girl he truly loved, and while their relationship failed miserably and was full of drama, it nonetheless weighs on him heavily.  Not to mention she has learned of me and apparently has flipped out on him, calling him sobbing, saying she feels like her whole life with him has been replaced by me (which, I suppose, it has.  But she was the one who broke up with him!  What does she expect?  Plus she's been in a new relationship for several months now!  She's just got her panties in a twist because she's seeing he's finally moving on.)  Anyway, it understandbly kills him to see her hurt.

And you know what?  I'm going to go on a tangent here, but a lot of people have told me that him saying this as a reason for him being distant from me lately is complete bullshit, that he might as well be cheating on me.  To those people, I ask you to each slap yourselves in the face and snap out of it.  Have a heart.  We have all experienced deep, all-encompasing love that doesn't work out in the end; the kind that consumes everything about us, but is too troubled and turbulent and never would have lasted.  They will NEVER get back together.  But it is completely illogical to expect that he won't live with a piece of her in his heart for the rest of his life.  I know I certainly hold pieces of relationships with me!  When you love someone that much and it doesn't work out, that pain never fully goes away.  It's a lie if people tell you it does, just as it's unreasonable to expect people to never harbor pain and sorrow from past relationships.  There is something about that bond that stays with you, remains a part of you, and haunts you for a very long time.  It's a pain that never goes away; it's something you rather just learn to live with and move on carrying.  Yes, time heals; yes, you can move on.  But the memories will always be there, and it can take years to fully rebound.

It hurts him to see her hurt.  It kills me inside to see himself sabotaging such a good thing with me for guilt of something that is in the past and dredging up useless demons to plague him in teh present.  But as a human, I find it endearing.  If I were in her shoes, I would like to know my former love was feeling this way; there is comfort in knowing you aren't alone in going thru the grief and healing process of divorcing yourself from someone who once held your whole heart in their hands.

I can be compassionate; in fact, I have to be.  Otherwise, anger and sadness and bitterness will take over.  But I have a lot of stress now because I don't feel like he understands that I need him to let me go entirely.  His argument is that neither one of us is necessarily looking for anything - and it's true.  Neither of us is in the market for marriage or children, so it's no real rush.  So, he asks, why does it have to be all or nothing.  Can't we keep it the way it is and just enjoy each other's company?  And I had to tell him no; it's not enough.  Because even though he says he cares for me, I care for him in a way that wants more.  I want to feel loved and special and wanted and desired.  I could do the casual thing so long as those feelings of endearment were shared.  But they aren't - in his own self-confessed words, he loves spending his time with me, but can't deal with obligation, he wants to be able to do whatever he wants, when he wants - not in being with other women, but doing whatever activities he wants without feeling obligated to take someone else into consideration.  And yea that really hurts, but it's honest and truthful and I've felt it before.  So I can understand.

But all of this to say, I am not feeling happy right now.  In fact, I am downright sad.  I feel my life is in flux, I'm not sure what I'm going to lose in all of this, and I fear the change that I'll have to push myself thru.  It is exhausting, and it is raining, and all I want to do is hunker down on my coach and drown myself in comfort foods and slip into a coma.

But, I will not. 

I am going to channel this sorrow into something better.  I am going to use it to motivate me to push harder.  I will dwell on the idea of finding someone more better suited for me.  I will dwell on possibly winning my ex back and looking more beautiful than ever when he has time to realize what he lost and how bad he messed up.  He never did me wrong, so I would take him back.  But if all else fails, I will do it because at least I know this one thing is true:  hard, tireless work put toward a goal I want so badly, will never disappoint.  I will never regret it.  The tears shed in the heat of a battle are always the most cathartic, regardless of whether I am victorious or not.  I will fight to prove that I don't need anyone's support but my own to achieve my goals.

I am looking at my diet journal right now for the day and it is so boring and unsatisfying-looking.  Even still, as I choke down this protein shake for lunch, I remind myself that the sacrifices I am making in terms of food consumption are worth it for the other benefits I get to experience all day long.  Once my liver converts this all into nothing more than glycogen and by-products, and that stuff feeds my cells and I no longer feel hunger, WHAT I ate really won't matter anymore.  It might taste like shit, but the temporary satisfaction of tasting with my tongue vanishes rapidly once I have the rest of the day to regret the weakness of an unnecessary cheat meal.

Plus, here's the thing to think about food.  We tend to use it as a reward because its pleasures are immediate and our brains are addicted to the feel-goodies produced by it.  But it is possible to re-train your brain.  It is possible to remind yourself that there is more than one way to treat yourself - shopping or doing a certain activity, or perhaps indulging in some quality quiet time (nap, anyone???) are great ways to treat yourself and derive the same kind of feel-goody feelings.

I'm going to kick my own ass in my workout later today, enjoy the catharsis of exhaustion, and think about what I want to do tonight.

And all to the tunes of two of my favorite songs right now:

Brittney Spears:  Stronger 

Kelly Clarkson:  Stronger

Doubt your limits. Then, limit your doubts :)

Isn't it great when you are able to take your own advice to heart and put it to practice??  Today I had to wake up at 5am to workout because I promised to play some evening volleyball after work and (although it is vigorous exercise) I just can't constitute that an adequate workout.  So I suppose today is a two-a-day for me??

Anyway, morning workouts are difficult just because of the nature of them: they are in the morninggggg.  Now, I most definitely consider myself a morning person, I can't wait to get up and start the day.  But my gym workouts are extremely challenging and my mind isn't "awake" enough yet to really get going.  This isn't necessarily a problem, as I'll usually just close my eyes and meditate while I let me body do the work.  But to go from a sleeping state where the blood pressure is like 80/50 and the heart rate is in the low 50s, to a heart-pounding cardio session with a 170bpm and sweat pouring down the face is no easy task.  It's like asking a a 1990s-model Toyota Corolla to go dfrom 0 to 60MPH in 6.8 seconds :S

In any event, I swallowed the words I typed in this post yesterday.  I imagined when I wrote the words that sometimes we think we have dug as deep as we can until we reach the concrete floor of the playground sandbox, yet still need to find a way to dig deeper.  Each time I wanted to quit, I told myself that I couldn't and forced myself to be capable of reaching deeper and deeper to find the strength and desire to not just finish, but finish strong.  I knew I could do it, that it was just a matter of the mind, and one of my biggest goals of undertaking this new lifestyle was to gain back control from my mind.  And you know what the result was?

930 CALORIES, BABY!  In less than an hour and a half!

I kept reciting all the things I wrote in my blog about busting thru low motivation.  It was sheer will power that got me thru it.  And then I realized, despite this being such a phsyical challenge, most of all of this is mental.  The human body has very few limitations... it's our minds, our doubts, and the things we proclaim as truths to ourselves that constrain us.

So I thought I'd just chime in a bit of inspiration for those of you struggling to fight the good fight.  Just trust me:  pushing yourself is hard in the beginning, but it is worth it's weight in GOLD.  Because the more times you realize that it's your mind that's preventing you from achieving your dreams, the more (and more easily!) you are able to overcome future challenges.  

The Greatest Article of All Time

What an inspiring read!  Educational, common sense, and the "update" at the end was so motivating.

"I like to speak of the pursuit of fitness as being on the path. Regardless of your current condition, regardless of your weight, regardless of your genetics, if you are willing to get on the path and follow it you will be changed. The degree of change is up to you. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes self-control. The rewards of being on the path however greatly exceed the sacrifices. When you step on the scale and have lost another pound you will not regret the pizza that you did not share with your friends. When you lift your shirt and for the first time see the outline of your abdominal muscles you will not regret that you drank water instead of beer or pop. When you play with your children and find that you actually have the energy to keep up with them you will not regret the time that you spent exercising."

The Article:  Ripped Abs - A Free Diet and Fitness Plan That Works

"Dieting can be an exhausting mental feat." (Motivation for the hard days now and ahead)

So today, I'm dealing with the problem of wanting to eat more because I don't feel mentally satisfied.

And it isn't just today, it's a LOT of the time :/

I think this is a struggle a lot of us deal with.  I mean, after all, food is such an emotional tool.  We eat when we're bored, when we're sad, when we're happy.  We eat for comfort, we eat for holidays, we eat because someone brought in a box of donuts to work that have been sitting in the break room calling our names with alluring gentleness.  And when we are on a diet, it doesn't matter how much motivation we have; there will just be those days where temptation is stronger than others, where our strength to fight the good fight seems daunting compared to our desire to relax and indulge without abandon.

Dieting can be an exhausting mental feat.  But if we can overcome these moments of weakness, they make us so much stronger!

Regardless of whatever inspiration I cling to today, the simple fact of the matter is I am slightly miserable today.  My morning bowl of oatmeal is really the only grain I allow myself each day.  All other forms of carbohydrate come from fruit, veggies and dairy.  I don't eat breads or pastas or rice.  I don't bake (and processed foods are out of the question) and I don't keep any goodies in the house.  For me, not even "out of sight, out of mind" works; once it's in the mind, it stays there :/

I so badly want to go and make a whole double serving more of oatmeal and eat it for nothing other than the comfort of the feeling of fullness.  Not to say I'm hungry - I'm quite full!  But the taste and the texture and the warmth that oatmeal brings with it's earthy grainy-ness and slight Stevia-induced sweetness, and that rush of feel-good feelings that hits the brain as the body begins to flow with glycogen and insulin and other hormones.... that is what I want.

But of course, I've come much too far, and endured much to much, to ever cave in. 

I'd like to reflect, though, on the times this feeling came around in my past dieting attempts, when I WASN'T successful at fighting them.  What is different now versus then?  Why is my motivation stronger now than it ever was before?  I believe the answer lies in the fact that this is a kamikaze mission of sorts for me.  After all, the whole reason I took on this project to commit to a clean diet and rigorous fitness routine, was because I was tired of half-assing myself; I want to prove to myself - NEED to prove to myself - that I am capable of giving 100% to something.  I know I am stronger than I give myself credit for, and I'm tired of making excuses that I am mentally weak.  I don't have to be weak if I don't want to; I can be strong and achieve goals I never imagined.  I just need to teach myself how.

But there are other things; Pure motivation helped me thru the first 4 weeks of my diet.  In my opinion, those are the most lethal weeks.  The first week can sometimes be easy if you're highly motivated.  But by the second week, you are exhausted, you are aware of your misery and the temptation, and you realize what a long haul you have ahead of yourself.  If you can survive week 2, week 3 can be a better if you can resist the urge to "reward yourself" for surviving the first two weeks.  My advice? AVOID REWARDS IN THE FIRST MONTH AT ALL COST.  They will set you up for failure!  One reward too many and the guilt settles in, and you haven't toughed it out thru enough yet to forgive yourself for a slip up and WHAM! Back you are to surrendering, saying you can't do it, you'll retry another time, or [insert another lame excuse].

But after the first month, that's when less volatile motivation starts coming your way.  You know, the kind that actually can stick with you, and is a real weapon against future temptations.  It's less a feeling, and more of a reality.  You've made it one month, and you've survived a variety of temptations, grueling days, hunger spells, and all the other un-fun things that come with starting a new diet and suffering thru the blood sugar crashes until you figure out which foods work for you at what times of the day to get you thru just fine.  You have a sense of empowerment and belief that this actually could work.  Your body has adjusted and is weaned off of the sugars, caffeine and fatty foods you once depended on to get you thru the day.  You have more energy to get thru your workouts.  You notice cravings subside, your taste buds change, and a sense of interest and excitement fills you for what kind of new meals you can cook using different foods with different flavors, and OMG your fat pants are too big and you're fitting into clothes you used to be too large for!  Instead of treating yourself to food, you find yourself treating yourself to new clothes.  It's a whole different high, and your enslavement to food rapidly begins to loosen its grip.

2 weeks later the scale continues to budge, people start making comments, and you start feeling beautiful; not because you look better on the outside, but because you realize you are treating your body with the respect you have known all along it deserves.  And you feel powerful, SO powerful and unstoppable that you begin challenging yourself to other goals that used to just be dreams or impossibilities.  Those become your fuel.

And the good just keeps coming; it never becomes less good.  The more you stick to the commitment, the better it is.  No one has ever committed to a nutrition and fitness program and ended up with results that were so good that they suddenly became undesirable.  Because even if you achieve the appearance you want, there is always more - there are competitions, races to be won, activities to be tried, mountains in foreign countries to be climbed, and people to bond with.  Experiences to share.  Motivational speeches to be given to the next crop of hopefuls who used to be like you, who would fail in the first weeks and lay convinced that they weren't made for success.  There is always more.

BUT.  This isn't to say there won't be bumps in the road, failures, shortcomings, disappointments.  The key is to know that you and you alone have the power to overcome them.  And I'm not talking about forgiving yourself for a slip-up and getting back on the bandwagon - I'm talking about before the slip-up happens, that moment when you are aware that you are being tempted, that moment when you allow that voice to start justifying an action that you don't want to cave into, but the allure of giving in grows ever deafening. YOU POSSESS THE ABILITY TO WALK AWAY.  TO SAY NO.  The question is, do you want it bad enough?  Can you overcome the mental anguish of constantly fighting desires in your mind and body?  Can you be exhausted but still get your butt on that elliptical, and then on top of that, muster the carnal energy needed to push yourself to a 160BPM heart rate on that machine despite your mind begging to go sit on the couch and zone out?  Can you will yourself to go to sleep at night despite your stomach asking for a tasty treat and a gentle sugar coma to carry you to your dreams?  Can you go out with friends for happy hour and watch them consume beverages and half-off hors d'ouvres but still manage to be happy and social and comfortable with the knowledge that you cannot - WILL not - indulge in these tasty tokens, no matter how badly you want them, for no other reason than that it goes against the goal you have set out to achieve?  And can you ignore the voice that does speak a degree of truth - that a few indulgences here and there aren't all that bad for you - just for the sheer principal that caving into temptation is not an option, that you have put your foot down and promised yourself you would give absolutely everything you had to this mission and no matter how minor the offense, you would JUST SAY NO??

Eric Thomas said that we will only be successful when we want to succeed as bad as we want to breathe.  Have you ever almost drowned, and felt that desperation for a gasp of air?  Nothing will stop you, it is a life-or-death battle.  And that is how we must approach gruelling long term goals.  The only way we will see the end result is if we fight for it like we were fighting for our last breath.  And you CANNOT ease up on it.  It must be ever-present.  Sometimes nutrition and fitness goals are like treading water in the middle of the ocean with a 30 pound weight around your waist.  You can't just arbitrarily decide one day to "take it easy" on your struggle to keep your head above the surface.  If you want to live, you will give everything you have until you make it.  You can't just half-ass a struggle to get to the surface. Sometimes it will come easily and other times you will feel like you've dug as deep down into your core as possible to find strength, so deep that you've reach the bottom like the cold concrete base of a playground sandbox, and yet against all reason you must still dig deeper.  Some days you will be on that treadmill and you're about to start and you are SO weak, all you can think  of is all the other things you need to get done or want to do.  All you can think about is that report that is stressing you out, that bill you're not sure how you're going to pay, that coworker who is threatening to get you fired at work, the transmission you need to get fixed on your car.  One day you may lose your job, or the love of your life might leave you, or your dad might die.  And you will find yourself on that treadmill with a perfectly good excuse to let yourself be weak and tired, let yourself BELIEVE you cannot muster the energy that is required to crush that cardio session.

What is life though, really?  Were we ever told that none of the aforementioned tragedies would ever happen to us?  Or that they would happen to us, but no to others?  I'll tell you now, EVERYbody is in pain.  Everybody has a worry.  The day I was told I had cervical dysplasia and had to get a biopsy to tell me how invasive it was, I had every reason to not go to the gym.  I had every reason to spend that day immersed in as many happy relaxing thoughts and environments as possible, indulge in as many treats as I wanted.  But I didn't, I went to the gym and my tears were masked by the sweat pouring down my forehead.  This is life, and these things happen, but as long as you're alive, there is still hope.  And even when there isn't hope, there is the satisfaction of never giving up.  Life's real dreams are the ones that can be realized only by waking up, not by drifting back into catatonic nonexistence.

Anyway, that's my random stream of consciousness for the day.  Nto really sure if I wrapped it up to any meaningful conclusion, but it certainly achieved my goal of venting my frustration for wanting to eat more oatmeal :D  Now I wanna go workout real hard!

Here was yesterday's Week 10 Weigh-In:

Weight is up a smidge, but body fat percentage is down.  Can't ever full ytrust these machines, but could it be I'm leaning down and adding more muscle mass??

This.

I have gotten into the habit of hunting down inspirational youtube videos.  Isn't that site amazing?  I am only just now beginning to grasp the magnitude of the power of communication.

So today, I want to share this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

In week 10, I will listen to this video each day before my workout.  And next week, I will find a new video to share, and then another new one, and another, until like a mantra these words of inspiration turn into actions with purpose.  So many philosophies out there can be realities if we just adopt them and become the physical embodiments of them.

And for that matter, while this is not exercise-oriented, I thought I would share this video... possibly the most incredible video / speech I have ever heard in my life:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WibmcsEGLKo&feature=related

Today Starts Week 10: A Little Vignette About Cheat Meals

So, I read an interesting article today that a facebook page I follow linked up to.  The article is entitled The Ultimate Cutting Guide and while I feel like it's geared more toward men, it brought up something interesting to me.  At the end of the article, it talks about the necessity of having a dietary "cheat meal" - not one that is necessarily unhealthy, but one that is heavy in carbohydrates.  The idea is to have a one-time increase in your caloric intake to increase your metabolism and keep it high and strong.  The article suggests the following "schedule" for cheat meals:

There is no exact science here but I would quite simply start with some markers.  If bodyfat is in excess of 25% there are no cheat meals as in the onset, someone at this level will make conscious and unconscious mistakes.

• 15 - 25% bodyfat I would look at implementing a cheat meal every 4-5 weeks.
• 10 - 15% bodyfat I would apply a cheat meal at least every 14 days without fail.
• 4 - 10% I would use a ‘re-feed’ or cheat meal every 7-10 days.

Well, depending on what gadget I use, my body fat is at about 17-18% right now.  And being that today marks the beginning of Week 10, I find Saturday night to be reasonable:  I had a ltitle bit of a cheat moment ;)

The important thing is to take into consideration your motives for cheating.  Are you caving into temptation for a food you REMEMBER to be good, but aren't necessarily craving?  Are you simply craving a food and feel you have earned it?  For me, I've felt tempted various times along the past 2 and a half months but my absolute die-hard motivation to not half ass this journey has kept me on the straight and narrow.  But interestingly enough, about 4 weeks into my program I had a particularly brutal workout and felt the need to cheat, and the same thing goes this past Saturday night, too.  It was more a matter of listening to my body; it was begging for high-carb energy and fat.

The first time I caved in, I had no choice; my blood sugar levels were so low that I was about to pass out, so I ate thai food.  Whatever, it was a one-time thing and I forgave myself quickly for it.  But on Friday I had an enormous workout:  a 90 minute round trip bike ride to the Santa Monica stairs, where I ended up doing 20 sets (and for the first 10, I did 25 curbside tricep dips before going up the stairs, and 25 twisted crunches on the Bender Ball before going back down them).  The result was the following:

Then on Saturday I rode my bike to the beach and played volleyball all day, followed by riding my bike home and getting dinner with my bestest friend.  I intended to have a "cheat meal" that night and get a bunch of sushi rolls.  There is nothing I love better than an avocado california roll drenched in teriyaki sauce!  And I was considering even getting a diet coke.  But then I began to review all the ingredient of a diet soda and was turned off.  Then, after looking over the menu at the Sushi restaurant, I ended up settling for a salmon salad and miso soup, just because it sounded so good!  So much for a cheat meal!

On my way home, I still felt my body crying for simple (non-fruit) carbohydrates.  I was considering getting a piece of cake at the local Whole Foods food bar when I instead remembered my favorite not-so-guilty treat of years past:  THESE little suckers!

It was the greatest cheat meal I've ever had; so guilt-free (relatively speaking... despite these not really being "Eat Clean Diet"-friendly!), somewhat nutritious with their iron and a little protein and fiber... but coupled with a tall glass of nonfat milk, and this really hit the spot the way half a bag of Oreo's can but with a fraction of the dietary regret ;)  I let myself have 2 servings and put the rest of the container into the freezer.  the problem is, though, is that I don't like to throw away food, so now I hear those cookies singing to me at all hours when I'm home.  I wonder what I should do with them?

Anyway, I think it's important to really analyze why you are having a cheat meal, and to make sure that whatever you eat, really hits the spot for your reason to cheat while still being a healthy alternative (if possible) and consumed in moderation.  That little bowl of cookies super charged me, and I woke up ready to tackle the day on Sunday morning.

As for this week, I will continue to strive for cardio performance while also upping the weights I'm lifting in the gym.  I'm afraid I may not be taking in enough calories in the day, and am considering re-analyzing my diet to see if I need to add more or less of something.  I do feel a bit of a carbohydrate deficit lately, but possibly only because of three vicious back-to-back cardio days.  One thing I have to say, is that I felt INCREDIBLY lean yesterday for the first time in a long while.  People from all over have been complementing me - and not even just close friends, some are people who are completely unaware that I have embarked on this journey.  They say that it takes 4 weeks for you to notice a difference, 6 weeks for close friends and family, and 8 weeks for the general public.  So at 10 weeks, I feel I'm right on track.

10 weeks down, 16 left... Did I mention THIS happened?  This is the lightest I've weighed in several years :)