What I Wish I Knew About Clean Eating and Leaning Out In the Beginning: A Prolouge To The Series

So, you've decided to lose weight and get ripped.  You've decided it's time; YOUR time.  No more waiting.  No more wishing.  You've packed your bags and you're ready to go on the journey of a lifetime, full of high hopes and trepidation, belief and doubt, an idea of courage but mostly anxiety.  That's good; that's what fuels the first step.

The paths that bring people to this decision are as many as the stars in the sky.  Perhaps you've been trying to lose weight your whole life.  Perhaps you've been lean your whole life, but child-rearing or the typical sedentary adult lifestyle has changed your figure in less desirable ways.  Perhaps you've always had "a little extra" and were (and still are!) perfectly happy with that, but health problems have come into focus.  Perhaps you are already lean, or an athlete, but you're looking to enhance your performance (and physique, of course!).  

It doesn't matter what brought you here.  The only thing that matters is, you've made this choice.  YOU have made this choice.  You.  This is for you, not for anybody else.  And only you can make this happen.  There absolutely will come a point in your journey, no matter how much support you initially start with, where you will feel like you are completely alone in your battle.  Therefore, you need to do a couple things right now before you depart on this incredible experience.

First of all, you need to take a deep breath and realize you ARE completely alone in this battle.   I don't say this to discourage you -- I say this to motivate you. The most satisfying victory one can experience is by achieving a great thing by one's own accord.  There is nothing quite like full ownership and the pride of knowing you accomplished a goal all on your own.  The greatest changes we experience as humans are those that are earned throughout the process of overcoming great trials. At the end of the day, it can only be YOU who decides what you will eat, and it can only be YOU who decides if you really will stick to your workout plan, and how intensely you push yourself.   

IT IS OK IF THIS SOUNDS TERRIFYING and completely unappealing... but don't let it deter you! When the blacksmith told the blob of metal, "Hey, I'm gonna throw you in the fire and burn you so badly that you'll melt, and then I'm gonna hammer the hell out of you!" Of course the blob of metal was terrified.  That sounds awful!  But the pain does not last forever, and when that blob of metal felt itself taking shape for the first time, endured the first few blows of the blacksmith's hammer, that's when it was able to feel the change and see the natural process of transformation begin.  And in the afterglow of all the hard work of endurance and determination and patience, out of the fire came a sleek weapon of enviable form;  something composed of the same material, yet entirely changed. And what, then?  Do you think that blob of metal would wish to itself that it was nothing more than a blob again?  I think not.  There is so much pride, so much value, so much strength and so much beauty in the art of taking charge of one's own life, one's own physical form, and refining it to it's maximum potential.  We are human, and our bodies are capable of incredible things.  What have you got to lose?

Accept that you cannot rely on anyone other than yourself to do all the hard work that results require of you.  It is your own rite of passage, it's only through the fire that you will truly change and grow.  If you can accept this, if you can be OK with knowing that in your darkest hour, when friends become tired of your refusal to go out and drink all night with them, or "just have one bite, it's not gonna kill you!", or get upset with you that you have to leave an event early because you have a 6am trail run that you want to be fresh for, or that one morning when all you want so badly is to stay and sleep one more hour and not have to schlep out in the cold dark morning and trek to the gym, then I can 100% guarantee you that you will be successful.  Having support is always a good thing, but do not make it the only crutch that's propping you up in this journey.  Stand on your own two feet, and command them to work for you.  You are in charge, and your prize is waiting to be earned.  You need to BE EXCITED for the amazing things ahead of you, if you are willing to literally endure the sweat and tears (and sometimes blood, if you're a clumsy runner like me!) in order to earn the results.

If you CHOOSE to do this, I swear to god you will never regret it, not a single moment will you ever regret the sacrifices this journey demands of you.  It will take all you have and will ask for more.  If you give it more, it will return to you everything you gave plus dividends.

Next, buy a bulletin board and hang it somewhere where you can visit it.  You might choose to put it somewhere public such as by your fridge, or by your bathroom mirror next to the scale, or you may choose to put it somewhere private, like inside the door of your closet.  On that bulletin board, pin pictures, quotes, or things that remind you of why you want this as badly as you do.  Pull out a pad of paper right now and list every single reason why you are doing what you're doing.  Sure, the big items are important, but do your best to spend most of your time focusing on the little things, the personal things, the things that really touch on the nerve.  It doesn't matter how petty or silly they are, how "immature" they might seem.  We all have our reasons for wanting to improve our skills and appearance, so best that we use them to our advantage in the beginning.  Pin this page on your bulletin board (or, as I call it, the Wall of Inspiration) and leave room for new additions to the list.  Never throw the list away; it will one day become a sentimental relic, a tangible item where you can see your goals and dreams morph from what they were at the beginning, to what they will become as you continue to be successful.

Lastly, I want you to take to heart these words and know that they are a cliche for a reason:  You can do this.  There is nothing stopping you except your own self.  Weight loss?  Muscle gain?  There is no grey area:  it is all math.  Calories in, calories out.  There are a million programs and diets out there that you can "buy" and be promised results, but the reason why most of those fail is because the advertisements make everything look so easy.  Once people realize that it isn't easy, but actually quite miserable at times, they quit.  They don't think they're strong enough. This is not an easy endeavor you are choosing to take on.  But just because it's not easy, doesn't mean it's not possible, and it sure as hell doesn't mean it is not euphorically enjoyable.  It's just a matter of whether you are willing to give what it takes to see success.  How bad do you want it?  How badly do you want to be successful?  Because I can tell you that you don't need to spend money to lose weight and tone up.  Everything you need to know, which I will compile in this blog series I'm writing right now, is all on the internet for free already.  You just need to be willing to invest the time, effort and patience into figuring out what needs to be done, and then do it.  

That's why I'm writing this blog series, to gather together all of the basics, all of the important stuff, to get you set and going on your way.  There's nothing I could have wished for more when I first started out.  I plan to write a multi-blog series of everything from the basics of calculating your body metrics and a general idea of your caloric needs, to discussing the what clean eating is and why it's important, and then will discuss fitness techniques (weights before cardio... and why weights are important!) and everything in between.  I hope to post a new entry every week or two.

If you are ready and firm in your resolve to have the most challenging and rewarding journey of your life, to face the challenges and end up making new friends who share the same goals and dreams as you in the process, to finally do something for yourself that you so desperately want, then slap a smile on your face, be grateful for the opportunity that you can completely change your life at a moment's notice, and take that first step. 

An Update on "Clementine", the Mass in my Breast

I've been monitoring the stats of my blog, and I've noticed that 2 of my most highly viewed entries have been those in which I discussed the time I went in for a routine women's wellness exam 6 months ago and found out I had a lump in my breast.

On the chance that those entries have been viewed so many times because women are seeking insights into their own personal circumstances, I've decided to give an update on this mass (which I have ever so affectionately named "Clementine", because it seems to be about the same size as a Clementine Cutie tangerine!)

As a recap, when the lump was first felt by my OB/GYN, she seemed stoic and said it felt like a cyst.  Nonetheless, she sent me in immediately for a diagnostic ultrasound at a local center that specializes in breast abnormalities. Given that I was only 28 and felt perfectly healthy, it came as an absolute shock to know that a foreign body growing within me.  This could NOT be happening, not to me!  But there I was, sitting in the waiting room a couple days later, seeing middle-aged women coming and going, some crying, some cheerful, some light-hearted and happy and well-versed with the process, others clearly scared completely out of their minds.  Even still, I thought I was emotionally under control for the procedure having had 3 or 4 days to research and poke and prod and come to my own mental conclusions, all up until they spread the lubricant on my breast and began pressing down with the wand.  That's when it became overwhelmingly real, and I lost it.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as the radiologist seemed to take all eternity to measure and analyze the mass.  I'll never forget the chilling realization I made as I laid on that table; that the answer was not leaping out at the doctor, that he was having to use his brain and his experience to see just what the hell this mass was.  It didn't scream, "CANCER!" to him, but it didn't scream cyst, either.  The doctor tried to explain to me what he *thought* it was. He mumbo-jumbo'd some jargon or something to me, but he might as well have been speaking in Sanskrit because I couldn't hear anything he was saying.  My mind was so preoccupied with hearing the word Cancer or Benign that I literally could not process anything else coming out of his mouth.  When he looked into my eyes and saw them filled with tears, I think he understood.  He stopped what he was saying and said, "I think you're fine.  This type of tumor would be benign."  It took me a couple days to get my wits about me and call back for my official preliminary diagnosis: a Hamartoma of the Breast.

I nonetheless scheduled a 6-month follow-up diagnostic ultrasound, and the ensuing 6 months were composed of 3 months of denial and 3 solid months of religiously examining my breasts after each period for signs of change, as instructed.  I noticed the mass would get incredibly large just before my period - so large, in fact, that I could visibly see one breast fuller than the other.  Otherwise, it returned to it's "normal size".

So when I went in to have my follow up 3 days ago, I went in with cautious confidence.  I was comfortable with thinking this was, in fact, just a benign hamartoma.  After all, the substance of the mass did truly feel like all the tissue around it, which may be why it was never detected before, but I can't say for certain.  So there I was on that damned table again, hot lube all over me, but this time I had a calm, judicious thinking cap on.  Unlike the last exam where I stared at a wall and sobbed for the duration of the exam, this time I watched with genuine curiosity.  My doctor showed me everything on the monitor, showed me colorful density maps and compared them to surrounding normal tissue to show that the mass was indeed composed of normal tissue, but that it was encapsulated.  

The above is not a picture of my ultrasound, but it looks similar.  The top of the photo, with sort of wavy lumps, looks kind of like my mass, except that on the image to the right, where you see the dashed line at the top between two letters (A and A), mine is so long that it goes beyond the boarders of the screen.  It is also about twice as thick as the image seen on the left of the screen between the two letters B and B.  But it looks exactly the same as the tissue surrounding it, with a thin, clearly defined encapsulation around it.  The straight line at the base of the image is a rib, with pectoral muscle just above it.

The problem was, it has grown in size since I was last checked.  By 4/10ths of a centimenter or something or other.  My doctor didn't seem overwhelmingly alarmed.  He advised me just to wait another 6 months for another scan.  He told me he sees these things all the time, and with ultrasound technology the way it has evolved, he can guarantee the reading with 98% accuracy.  

But what about those remaining 2% odds?

Doc said he had no problem ordering a biopsy, it's quick and super simple and it would certainly tell us for certain what is going on.  But there was a downside to that, which I'm not sure what it was -- perhaps it was that even the minor invasivity of a biopsy could create scar tissue or some such thing.  I will seek counsel from my OB/GYN and primary physician on their opinions, but I believe I will go forward with a biopsy, if anything other than to chronicle it as an experience that I can describe for fellow readers out there who happen upon my blog searching for advice or stories.

So, that's it for the update this time.  I will check in on this topic once I have a chance to speak to my physicians.

In other news, I am SO PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE that I am back on track with my progress and have achieved the same stats I had prior to leaving the country for a month! And I am fully on track to achieve more progress by year's end, and am thinking of running another half marathon on New Year's Day, and then push to lean out as much as possible and then book a professional progress photo shoot to celebrate my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY on January 30th of next year!!  

Many exciting things to be grateful for in my life, yes siree :) <3

My World is Changing / I'm Rearranging :)

Well well well, my beloved blog! Do I have some joyous news!  This girl is back on the bandwagon!

My brief hiatus from back-breaking 2-a-days, diligent dieting and consistent blog writing has effectively ceased, and I'm back in the game!

I've learned a lot about myself in the past couple months, as alluded to in my last post.  I think the most important thing was two-fold.  First of all, taking an extended break (well, I don't think "break" is the right word; let's say "holding pattern") did my body wonders; it gave me sufficient time to give my muscles and metabolism a rest, and time for my mind to explore things I'd been wanting to but didn't have the time (yoga, anyone??).

But secondly, and most importantly, my 2 month holding pattern gave me sufficient time to do some soul searching to remind myself of my goals and re-confirm that they represented what I truly wanted.  Just like how I needed to go to Europe and fully remove myself from my regular routine to garner some clarity on which direction I really wanted to take my life, having a break from my intense training and dieting scheme provided me an opportunity to see the forest again, and not just the day to day trees I was focusing on.

Another cool thing I found about myself was that it was not a chore to get back on my routine.  What used to feel like being a slave to diet misery is no more; it's my way of life, it comes perfectly natural to me, and I feel my absolute BEST on a clean diet, lots of water and intense weight-lifting routines.

And on that note, I have been exploring some really amazing things that are causing me to evolve as a human being, and they have been a total joy to experience.  Things that I have done, am doing, or am partaking of now that, even just a couple months ago (let alone at the beginning of my journey) I never even would have dreamed of:

1.  YOGA

Yoga has changed my whole life.  But not in that spiritual, mind-clearing way.  I have too much of a math-oriented, manic mind to be able to have one of those OMMMM moments.  I spend Shavasana orchestrating a mental check list of some sort of thing or another, haha.  But I've been going to a place called Maha Yoga in Brentwood, CA and it is seriously the closest I have come to a feeling of total rebirth.  I have never worked and sweat so much in my life (and don't even get me started on the time I did 2 sessions in a row. EUPHORIC). Class is done to the tune of amazing hip hop tracks which is great for me; noise actually calms my mind, it's the quiet classes where I can't get my mind to focus.  I must have been dropped on my head as a baby :)  

Yoga is my new "thing".  It has rekindled an ancient dream of mine to be a ballerina.  And while that ship sailed the day I surpassed my 22nd birthday, a girl can still pretend, eh?  Working on my flexibility has been one of the most rewarding challenges for me, not to mention one more thing I can cross off of my list of Things I Thought I'd Just Never Be Able To Do.

2.  RUNNING

Speaking of the list of Things I Thought I'd Just Never Be Able To Do, I challenged myself to the biggest feat so far since I first commited to 30 days of clean eating and proper exercise back on January 30th of this year:  To run a half marathon.

Now, I just wish you all could realize how epic of an endeavor this was for me.  I have ALWAYS sucked at running.  It took me... well, I'd say the better part of 20 years... to realize that the reason for the body-crushing side aches that I would develop which always prevented me from even being able to run 1 mile regardless of my fitness level, was LACK OF HYDRATION.  If I consistently drink 80-100 fl. oz. of water a day, I can run for eons with NO side stitches.  Life changing.

But, that said, I still have the life-long ailment of a bad knee.  I have named my left knee Escobar after the notorious Ecuadorian soccer player who was shot and killed by his own fans after he accidentally got confused and scored a goal on his own team, effectively losing the game for them.  I ruined my knee in a soccer game in 2008 and it ended my post-collegiate career, and as a result of normal scarring (and some over-correction), the farthest I have been able to run without excruciating pain was 8 miles on pavement and 10 miles in sand.  So, when I decided to challenge myself to a milestone of running a half marathon (something I truly, in all my right mind, never EVER thought I'd ever actually even ATTEMPT to do), my determination and absolute refusal to fail kicked in.

Unfortunately, after making the decision to run the half marathon on Thanksgiving morning...in the SAND to protect my knee...I had only given myself 10 days to prepare! I'm sure I did everything wrong, such as running back-to-back-to-back 10ks all the way up to race day with just 1 day of rest, but my GOD was it exhilarating.  The funny thing was, I wasn't excited about running.  Running on the beach is as boring as it gets.  One straight line of identical scenery (when you've lived on the beach your whole life, the coast loses its majesty. Trust me).  By Mile 4 I started feeling the pain in my groins and hip flexors which, after a couple month hiatus of beach runs, were  unaccustomed to running in sand.  My route was SUPPOSED TO BE as such:

Essentially, from the Venice Pier to the Bel Air Bay Club and back (6.5 miles each way).  But after pain that felt very real and damaging, at Mile 5 I decided to turn around and run back.  My thoughts were that if I could just run 5 more miles, I would have at least made it 10 miles and then could double back and walk the remaining 3.1.  But sure enough, once I had returned to the Venice pier, I felt capable of pushing through it.  So I ran south from the Venice Pier to the edge of the Marina and back.  After I tallied up the mileage, I realized I had run a total of 13.8 miles!

And my finish time.  I had a goal of 02:30:00 which I missed by a little over 5 minutes, but then again I ran almost a full extra mile! A major win in my eyes :)

And to wrap this item up, I have decided to challenge myself to another half marathon on New Years Day Morning! This, to try to beat my time (and performance), but also to keep me out of ANY trouble on New Years Eve with my friends and get me to bed at a decent hour.  As that holiday approaches, remind me to tell you about my last two NYEs, including last year's which was absolutely beyond reproach and a pivotal moment in my decision one month later to start this fitness journey to begin with.

3.  FOOD :)  And Cooking

I have really gotten very much into cooking.  Ironically right now I haven't been doing any because I need a break, and eating boiled chicken and steamed broccoli for dinner every night is more appealing than making complicated dishes.  But I have found cooking to be the link between the left and right brain -- I get total control of the macro and micro nutrients (not to mention total control of all the ingredients!) but it's also an art and I've found it to be therapeutic.  There just really is nothing quite like the satisfaction of making something with your hands.

But on top of developing actually real, true skills in the kitchen (and creating a confidence that I've never EVER had about cooking), I have been branching out and trying new restaurants and discovering amazing cuisines.  Somewhere on the list of Things I Thought I'd Never Be Able To Do is "Enjoy going to a vegan restaurant".  But then my good friend Gabi introduced me to The Golden Mean Cafe in Santa Monica.  Their "'The Works' Burger" and their "Golden Mean Salad" have transformed me into a vegan addict.  I now need a support group, it is THAT good.  All of this healthy eating and consciousness of what we are putting in our bodies just fuels my interest in the subject and makes me that much more excited and devoted to not only a clean-eating diet, but a clean-living lifestyle.  It is a total renaissance I have experienced, and has ignited in me a fire for life, and openness of mind, a determination of body, and a spirit of enlightenment.  It has been a beautiful thing, and I love how all facets of my life seem to be working in harmony with one another, all yielding different outcomes but working toward the same big picture.  What started out as a simple tune -- tone up -- has turned into an entire concert that is bending me in ways (quite literally) I never knew I was capable of.

All of these, really, have sort of been like getting a second chance at life.  Letting these changes into my life, giving them a try, and truly embracing them has been the equivalent of being able to live somebody else's life to see what it's like.   I have become a new creature for these things, and yet I know I have only touched the tip of the iceberg.  And there are other things I've continued to explore - I have a whole list of artistic projects I plan to take a stab at once I tend to more pressing matters (such as finishing my garden and cleaning my closet), as well as races I look forward to attempting, including a difficult 15k trail run in January.

I can't wait to continue to log all of the things I do and changes I make on my quest for a toned body and sustainable lifestyle.  And I also can't wait to do another research blog post! I'm thinking of making the next one on the importance of fat in the diet.  In the meantime, it is a countdown to New Years, which is a great source of motivation for me both in terms of starting the new year on the best foot possible, and also working toward the best body ever so that I look like a hottie patottie in my NYE dress! AHHH! ;D

The Long Awaited Update: Finding Balance Amidst Performance-Obsession

Oh my dear, dear blog.  It has been over a month since I posted a new entry!

A lot has changed since my trip to Europe.  What started out as a vacation in Barcelona turned very rapidly into an exploratory backpacking adventure all along the Eastern coast of Spain, up into the South of France, and then all over London and southeast England.  It all happened after I read The Alchemist for the first time on my flight out.  I landed in Spain just as I finished the last page, and that pretty much kicked off the journey.  I only lasted 3 days in Barcelona before branching out to other cities and countries.

I struggled in the beginning of my travels.  I hadn't realized how rigid and inflexible my robotic diet and exercise routine had made me.  For someone who claimed to be an open minded free spirit, I couldn't believe how useless my current approach to diet and exercise had rendered me.  For the first three days in Spain I nearly starved to death because I couldn't find anything I could eat.  My lifestyle appeared to have rendered me completely lost in translation.

I was fortunate enough to have access to a kitchen at almost every location I stayed at throughout my travels, and I grew to rely on local farmer's markets for all sustenance.  I discovered one just in the nick of time, when my protein powder had run out and I feared I'd have to succumbed to heavy tapas and bread and paella which was all I could really find besides the occasional McDonald's (I'd rather starve!).  So out of strict necessity, I began to combine things I found at the farmers market into dishes that nourished me, regardless of the calorie content.  I had local marcona almonds and honey atop Mató cheese.  I ate salads of locally grown bibb lettuce, tomatoes, avocado and Mango slices.  I ate Iberian ham (a smoked, dried meat cut) with leafy greens on a rough dry earthy bread roll.  I ate bananas a lot, because they gave me the energy I needed.  I ate full egg scrambles and bacon with a locally grown garlic, onion and spinach saute.

I made sure that what I ate was farm-to-table, and finally disregarded any of the strict rules I had adopted at home (no dairy / no carbs / only 1 serving of fruit a day / yada yada).  They didn't have oatmeal and I couldn't find sweet potatoes or quinoa and so I succumbed to eating bread (the horror!) and dry cereal when I heard my body call for non-fruit carbohydrates.  I did everything I needed to do to nourish my body, and did so freely after I had let go of the rules that bound me.

What happened next was something of a miracle I didn't anticipate ever happening.  Over the course of the following weeks, I began to feel so alert and alive and full of energy, even in a way I hadn't when I first started clean-eating.  I wasn't working out because I was on my feet all day long exploring, hiking, running, backpacking around from place to place, and out of strict survival and necessity, I began to become highly attuned to not only when  my body was hungry, but for what.  I knew when produce wouldn't cut it, or when protein or fat wasn't what I needed.  And I fearlessly ate carbohydrates (and fruits) whenever my body asked for them.  When I was cold and craved chocolate, I ordered hot chocolate.  I even had wine on several occasions! I did whatever felt good and gave my body what it asked for.

It occurred three days into my trip, on a rainy Saturday morning in Barcelona after a wet urban 10k, that I realized that I had become results-obsessed without even knowing it.  I thought that everything I was doing at home was all for my health, and it was indeed a fun challenge to undertake, but it was in Spain that I realized I had robbed almost all of my life of joy in place of squeezing out that one last calorie, that one last rep, that 1/2-mile longer on each run.  Yes it was (and is!) fun to challenge yourself to that, but it's a dangerous thing to realize you may have transformed yourself into a mechanical object too weighed down by rules to actually be able to adapt to a changing environment and flourish and really enjoy life.  This realization did NOT jive well with me, at all.  I knew it was time to rethink things.  And wouldn't you know, by the time I had arrived home, I hadn't seen the inside of a gym in 3 weeks and hadn't stuck to any kind of diet (other than no fast food, etc) in just the same amount of time, and yet I hadn't gained a single pound while I was gone.  Imagine that! Now, I did lose a little muscle tone, but I felt so HEALTHY when I came home.  I think it was the psychological change of feeling more flexible and in tune with my body.  I realized that all that time I was spending in the gym and calculating my diet in excel was turning me into a robot, and I needed to find different ways of approaching this lifestyle that didn't turn me into an immovable soul incapable of enjoying the actual experience of being alive.

As such, I have spent the past month in a bit of a holding pattern / balancing act as I try out new things.  I didn't trust myself to dive right back into my strict routine out of fear that I would negate all the self-discovery I had made when I was forced to adapt in Europe.  So I've been experimenting a little with food and exercise to try to find the right mix to help me restart working toward my goals while still letting me feel like I am living.  After all, this is a lifestyle change, and the only way to make it sustainable is to achieve parity between discipline and enjoyment.

CHANGES I HAVE MADE

1.  The first change I have made is to limit the amount of time I spend in the gym.  Instead of one hour in the morning and one after work, I have condensed my weights and cardio into one AM session of 60-75 minutes, and then have been going to yoga for 90 minutes after work 3-4 days a week.  That in and of itself has been INCREDIBLE.  It has exposed me to new people, significantly improved my flexibility and strength, and has helped keep my mind and soul limber.  Unfortunately, I don't feel I am burning enough hard calories to lean down again and build on muscle definition, so I am going to increase the intensity of my AM workouts and see what that does.

2.  I have decreased the amount of time I play volleyball on the weekends to incorporate other activities.  I have gone hiking, camping, I've learned how to fish, I have built a garden with my bare hands (including removing almost 50 cubic feet of dead soil and replacing it with composted fresh soil), and in the next couple weeks I will be learning how to surf, gonna go kayaking, and I'm training to run a half marathon on thanksgiving!  These activities have become the new focus on my time now that I have survived the past couple weeks attending to other little projects and such that I have tabled for so long, but that my trip has inspired me to finally take a stab at.

3.  I have given myself a little freedom with my diet to explore cooking.  Cooking has become something of a spiritual activity for me.  It's an art and a science, all mixed into one tasty dish.  I find it therapeutic while also informative; I like experimenting with flavors and substitutes in order to make clean, all-organic dishes that actually have flavor.  Steamed zucchini and poached chicken breast had  it's place in my clean-eating diet in the beginning, but in order for this to be a sustainable feat, I needed a little room to breathe.  For instance, I allow myself to have one small banana and a scoop of nonfat 0% Fage Greek yogurt in my morning smoothies.  Sure that means it isn't dairy free and sure it may have some extra sugar in it, but it is healthy, clean, and I surely burn the calories off in my bike ride to yoga every evening, so I'm not going to sweat it! I'm a living, breathing human being, not a robot who must live in one extreme or the other.

But, play time is over, and I find it highly encouraging that even with this new found flexibility and perspective to diet and exercise, I am no more wanting to return to old habits now than I was when I first left to Europe.  I have fallen in love with this way of life, and now that I am not obsessing so much over results, I feel free to actually enjoy the journey and not feel like I  am forced to adhere to all the rules I laid out before.  I think it's all a balancing act and learning to be flexible.  I still stick to calorie limits, sugar limits, and of course eat lean, clean and organic, but if I want a banana here or there, I won't stop myself.  And if I don't feel like going to the gym, then I'll do something else - I'll go run a local mountain trail, or run on the beach, or throw on my roller blades and do a 14-mile cruise down the ocean boardwalk.  It's gotta be a balance between results-producing activities and happiness-producing activities.  I can't wait to learn how to surf and add that to my repertoire!

I feel so much freer and happier now than ever before.  And I am so excited to shed these 5 pounds or so that I've picked up over the past 2 months and start back up where I started, but with the new philosophy in mind that I won't let one thing overtake the other -- I won't let me diet and exercise routine become so rigid that I can't enjoy life's occasional simple pleasures, but I also won't let life influence my desire to achieve the best toned body I am capable of.  

It is certainly a balancing act, but I feel like the clarity I now have just may be the best tool I've yet to acquire in my fitness journey to date.

The TRAVELING Athlete: Going to Barcelona, OLÉ!!!!

Omg guys... I'm going to SPAIN!!! I booked a last minute ticket last week, and I leave a week from TODAY!  I am so excited; I've only ever been to Canada and all over the US.  I've never left North America before, and I'm super stoked!

But there are going to be some challenges (and no, they don't include bulls with horns!), so I'm using my blog as an excuse and extra motivation to keep me on track.  I'm going to kind of be winging this, but I'm going to document all of the temptations and challenges that come with all-day travel to get from one side of the world to the other.  I'm really excited to do this!

My flight itinerary is as such:
10:20am:  Leave LAX, and 4 hours later arrive at Chicago O'Hare at 4:20p local time.
9:45pm:  Leave ORD, and 7 hours later arrive at London Heathrow at 11:25am local time.
3:25pm:  Leave LHR, and 3 hours later arrive at Barcelona at 6:30pm local time.

Now, I know what you're thinking:  Holy connecting flights, batman!  But there's a reason I did this - First of all, I'm traveling with miles and my only options included two stops.  But I scheduled large gaps so that I didn't have to worry about missing a flight, and also I wanted my longest flight to be a red eye so I could drug up and dose off. (I'm a fairly good plane sleeper).  But what this does to me is eat up an entire day of travel.

I'm going to go for an early AM beach run before heading to the airport, but I have every intent and purpose of staying active while trapped in terminals far and wide.  I'm not really going to plan anything, I'm just going to wing it.  And if I look like an idiot for doing tricep dips on the the terminal chairs, or constantly walking in loops around the terminal to keep my heart rate up, or if it means finding a quiet corner to charge my phone, drop a towel and start doing push-ups and sit-ups, so help me god I'm gonna do it anyway!

And then there's the matter of airport food.  I can only carry so much with me, and with customs not allowing much in the way of fruits, nuts, animal products, etc.... I'll have to find some fresh options at the airports.  I don't wanna load up on protein bars because those are dehydrating enough.  So I'm going to experiment and put together a list of tips and tricks for those arduous travel days that we all inevitably have to go through.  I know it's easy to come by fresh fruit, but what if you're restricting sugars?  Finding fresh veggies, healthy carbs and clean proteins will be a challenge.  It may be a matter of a $20-salad, but I'll find a way!

Once I get to Europe (which might include a couple day excursion to visit friends in my beloved Sweden!), I'm going to hunt out a new physical activity to do each day, which I will also blog about.  On top of the list are finding some locals to let me in on some volleyball games, finding a local building to run the stairs at, some seeeeriously long urban runs (which will have to be all mapped out), renting a bike and cruising to the far reaches of the city, and then just some good old-fashioned foot travel to museums and such.

I have a pretty decent inkling that this trip is going to be a total gongshow given the circumstances.  I didn't exactly plan a mid-trip Swedish excursion, which may or may not happen still, I'm not sure.  But ya gotta keep life interesting, eh??

So, stay tuned as I compile a Traveler's Guide to Staying Fit and Awesome, as I can assure you that it will be overflowing with pictures of me actin' a fool at the airports for the benefit of lookin' like a total babe when I re-board the plane ;D

This trip is part of a larger 24-day "Break from The Real World" that I have elected to do just after all the things that have happened this year.  There have been a lot of ups and downs and a great call for soul searching in my life before I turn 29 in a month and begin the count down to 30.  I've always been one for wanting to stay ahead of the game, and I feel the need to take a breather and rethink what matters to me in life, and how I want to spend the rest of this precious time I have.  Not to get overly dramatic,  it's just that I feel like life is going at light speed and I don't want to wake up tomorrow and realize I'm 40, single, and not really doing what I love as a profession because I never really made those bold decisions in my life that I knew would alter the trajectory of my life indefinitely.  Whenever I think about these things, this song always comes into my mind; I'm not really sure what it means, but yet somehow I feel like it perfectly defines how I feel inside.

If you care to follow my travel journey from a non-fitness centric perspective, I've created a tandem blog that I'll find a way to link up to this one in the future... check out my "other" blog HERE :)

Clean Eating on the Cheap: Variety may be the spice of life, but let's be real… that sh*t needs to be on SALE.

One thing I've always prided myself on is finding a good deal.  Now, I'm no thrift store shopper or coupon queen (not to say that I have anything against that, because I don't; it's just not the lengths I've ever gone with my bargain-hunting habits), but being raised the way I was, I learned early on that I needed to be able to make a penny stretch to the size of a dollar.  

I got my first "real-life" job serving ice cream at Haagen-Dazs just after my 15th birthday.  Since I was under the legal working age, my employer was able to take advantage of a labor loop-hole and charge me a full dollar less than minimum wage per hour. Still, every summer I would work my butt off because that would be the only money at my disposal to pay for my new school clothes and any other discretionary items outside of food and shelter that I would want.  

It was tough but it certainly taught me the value of a dollar, along with some other incredibly useful budgeting lessons that helped me survive college.  When it came to being a university student, not only was I now on my own to buy my clothing and such, but I now had to pay for books, tuition, food, and all my other bills as well!  I was a full-time student working part-time jobs to cover full-time adult expenses.  Therefore, naturally, one of the easiest things to control as far as expenses were concerned was the grocery bill.

Food is a funny thing, because most items really don't cost all that much.  $2.49 here, $1.99 there.  But boy, does it add up.  I think we all can agree that the difference between buying a regular apple for $0.69 and an organic one for $1.19 is rather trivial (is $0.50 really all that much???).  But if you eat one a day for a full month, we're talking about a difference of almost $16 a month. And that's just for apples! Add in all the other monies you would save by making cheaper food selections, and we're looking at a sum of money that could cover a utility bill, a credit card payment, or the cost of necessary monthly medications.  Simply put? Savings are savings.  And when money is an issue, opting out of organics is a non-issue.

Well, we can now fast forward several years to my post-collegiate life.  School loans are paid off, car is almost paid off, retirement account is [slowly] growing, and I have a respectably-paying job that allows me to live a decent middle class life.  I'm not buying a house anytime soon, but I certainly am not wanting for food and shelter.  Even still, limited resources are limited resources, and I seemed to have carried my same budget-conscious habits toward food into my adult life.  I wouldn't eat garbage food; I mean, I did make sure I got my fruits and veggies and proteins.  But I certainly would forgo buying avocados and nuts in favor of cheaper snacks like crackers or Easy Mac (Yes, I said Easy Mac... oh, the shame!)  So, one of the rudest awakenings I got when I undertook this clean-eating adventure was the massive shift in discretionary income toward my new food expense each month.  That was such a fat pill to swallow that I about needed the Heimlich each time I got to the front of the register counter. 

But you see, it wasn't that I couldn't afford "higher quality foods"; it was more the principle of the matter.  It was knowing that for the last 10 years I was able to feed myself 3 decent meals and 3 snacks a day, 7 days a week, for $65 or less...... but now my grocery bill has doubled!?!  Where is the logic in knowing that for organic produce -- with no added chemicals or labor to apply said chemicals, just throw a seed into the earth and let mother nature do the dirty work -- the price seemingly doubles?  It makes no sense!  But of course, the logic is there.  Chemicals off-set the cost of losing plants to bugs and blights, yada yada yada, I get it.  But what I don't like, is the notion that the second money becomes an obstacle, people take the path of least resistance by buying crap food instead of seeking ways around it.  And I can say that, because I used to be one of those people!  But now that diet has become something of importance to my life, I've felt the need to seek out methods of mitigating the colossal crush of rising food commodity prices and the added expense of eating clean and organic options.

I've done a lot of research on tips and techniques as well as trying out my own ideas.  This in no way is an exhaustive list, but it's certainly a start at creating a handbook of sorts for people of all ages and all degrees of income to find solutions that work for them in terms of increasing the quality of their diet while keeping costs static (or potentially at a minimum).

1.  WATER

It goes without saying that an instantaneous (and free!) way of reducing cost and increasing diet quality is to abandon all fluids besides water.  Juice, coffee, soy milk, almond milk, regular milk, soda, booze, coconut water, and even tea... none are necessary.  So when it comes to you being able to afford Ezekiel Bread over that cheap loaf of white bread devoid of all nutrition and chock-full of empty calories, ditch the decaf and opt for a glass of water instead.  And further, STOP buying bottled water.  It's the same stuff as tap!  Added minerals to alter the flavor doesn't make bottled water "cleaner" than tap.  Both are filtered, both are fluoridated, and both are perfectly safe to consume.  If you can, buy a Brita pitcher or another knock-off; one $7 filter can purify 40 gallons on water.  If you can't stomach the taste of water, buy a lime at the grocery store; it's usually less than 20-cents a fruit, can produce 4 water-flavoring wedges, it alkalizes your gut upon consumption, flavors your water, and adds a boost of natural vitamin C to boot.

2.  KNOW WHEN TO BUY ORGANIC PRODUCE, AND WHEN NOT TO

Not everything "needs" to be organic.  While it is ideal to eliminate all exposure to potentially harmful chemicals and pesticides that riddle our produce, sometimes that is not an option.  So pick and choose your own battles.  The rule of thumb is to definitely buy organic produce for which the peel is thin, or where you eat the peel.  Examples of produce you'll want to buy organic:  Apples, peaches, pears, berries, cucumber, zucchini, celery.  Examples of when you can buy regular:  Bananas, oranges/lemons/limes (assuming you don't consume the zest or peel), pineapple, spaghetti squash, cantaloupe, avocado, corn.

The 2012 list of the "Dirty Dozen" was just released by the Environmental Working Group recently which details the current top 12 "dirtiest" fruits and vegetables contaminated by pesticides and chemicals, as well as a list of the top 15 "cleanest" produce items.  EWS recommends that foods on the Dirty Dozen list should absolutely be purchased organic, whereas the "Clean 15" can be of the "regular" (non-organic) variety.

Lastly, it goes without saying that shopping at Farmer's Markets tend to always yield better deals than grocery stores since you're cutting out the "middle man".  There are no grocery store worker salaries, property rents, insurance and utility bills and all other expenses associated with operating a grocery store that you need to worry about paying for via the overhead applied to the cost of your food.  Buy straight from the farmer and you will naturally reduce those expenses.

3.  BETTER THAN BUYING:  GROW YOUR OWN!
Since I was young, I've had a fascination with life (which is ironic, considering as how I NEVER want children).  But cultivating plants was always an art and a thing of beauty to me.  So it's weird to me that it took me 20 additional years before I took a stab at my long-lost green thumb.

If you are like me and live in an apartment with no yard, fear not!  You can always buy potting soil and seeds for cheap and plants herbs and leave the pots by your front door, in the shared back yard, your balcony or window sill, even on the roof if you have access!  If you can't afford pots, just use old tupperware containers (though being mindful that the plant will eventually outgrow that bucket.)  Also remember to poke holes at the bottom of the container so liquid can drain.

If you have a little more room to spare, or have some significantly large Tupperware containers, you can try planting other things like zucchini, carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes.  I recently stumbled upon this idea (see picture) and think it's brilliant! My mom has TONS of these old Rubbermaid bins from back when all us kids lived at home that she does absolutely nothing with.  Granted it will cost some money to purchase potting soil, but in the long run remember -- growing your own produce is the gift that keeps on giving! Drop a couple seeds in, give it some water, sun and a little TLC, and put ole' Mother Nature to work :)

4.  MEAT, POULTRY AND EGGS
When it comes to meat, you'll have to pick and choose your own battles here too.  My rule of thumb which helps is to stick with what's on sale and then make decisions that way.   Sometimes it's a matter of altering your recipes to accommodate seasonal or sale meats than the other way around.  Regardless, you're just always going to want to buy hormone-free, antibiotic-free, growth hormone (rBST)-free, grass-fed/cage-free/free range meats and eggs as often as possible.

The one big thing you can do to reduce this expense is to choose frozen over fresh meats.  While fresh meat is always ideal, if it's a matter of buying a frozen organic chicken breast versus a fresh "regular" (read: tampered with) one, go the frozen route.  Just make sure that no preservatives were used in the freezing process.  Frozen meats are usually always significantly cheaper than fresh since they store for longer, ship more easily, and require less of a rush from slaughter to sale.  One final note - egg whites can be expensive.  A carton of cage-free Trader Joe's egg whites is $2.99, and produces 10 3-tbsp servings.  Each 3 tbsp serving equates to one egg white.  Which means this carton only contains the equivalent of 10 eggs.  You can buy a dozen of Trader Joe's cage-free whole eggs for $2.99.  There are a variety of things to do with the yolk, including making a hair mask out of them, using them in other recipes, feeding them to your dogs to make their coats shiny, mixing them with water and fertilizing plants with them, yada yada yada.  So it's more economical to go with the dozen eggs than the carton of whites and come up with ways to use the yolk if you don't want to consume it!

Lastly, there are many mainstream organic meat providers like Organic Valley and Stonyfield Farm that offer coupons on their websites which is always a good thing.

5.  CELEBRATE MEATLESS MONDAYS :)
Another way to cut back on budget expenses and still eat clean, is to actually forgo a day of animal products.  Meat (especially the organic kind that we really should be consuming) is the most expensive item on anyone's list.  Even when you consume animal products that are in season, or produced in abundance for certain holidays (turkeys, hams, etc), that price still adds up.  Not all of us have a rifle and a forest or stream in our backyards to go collect our proteins ourselves, so Meatless Mondays is always a decent way to save a dime (my mom calls this Poor Man's Vegetarianism, haha).  Essentially, you trade out all of your meat items for non-meat proteins -- preferably, you buy a bag of kidney or black beans and cook them up at home ahead of time, and eat them instead. (Stay away from the canned varieties which can be tainted with BPA).

But there are other options.  Quinoa -- a great grain substitute -- is loaded with protein.  You can buy a box of Trader Joe's brand organic quinoa which yields enough to feed you for a whole week, for only $2.49.  Not to mention it can be added to just about any meal, including oatmeal, to boost protein content and improve food consistency and satiation.

6.  BUY IN BULK AND BEFRIEND THE ARCTIC!

Another major saver tip is buying in bulk and freezing what you don't immediately need to use.  And sometimes you don't even have to buy in bulk; sometimes just regular sales are too good to pass up!  Recently, Ralph's (Kroger) had a MASSIVE sale of Driscoll's organic raspberries.  They were selling entire pints of them for only $2.00.  The problem is, raspberries are extremely perishable, even when kept in the fridge.  So I bought up about 6 pints of those suckers, kept 2 in my fridge for mass [guiltless] consumption, and froze the rest.  Berries are delicate and don't thaw the way something like grapes or peach slices would, but that still doesn't mean they can't be used in any number of ways -- in your protein shakes, in baked goods you make... heck, I even just baked a pork tenderloin in half a bottle of leftover Charles Shaw "2-Buck Chuck" Cabernet with a 1/2 cup of those frozen berries and it made the most delightful raspberry-cab reduction sauce to go with the meat.  

The point of buying bulk is that, even though the price tag is higher, the per-unit cost is lower.  So hypothetically speaking, if you can afford $14.99 at Costco for a package of 15 frozen organic chicken breasts that will last you three weeks, that would be better than spending only $6.99 per bag for 5 breasts that will only last you 1 week, and end up costing you about $6 more than the price of the $15 bag at Costco in the long run. Another helpful trick with this tactic is to cook (or prepare) everything all at once, and then freeze the items.  That way, you can bypass repeated food prep chores, dirty dishes, etc.

7.  KNOW YOUR ECONOMIES OF SCALE
Along the topic of buying in bulk, another tip which I personally find to require the most time and attention but is REALLY helpful in the end  is to know your math.  Especially when you buy in bulk.  Sometimes, some deals aren't as appealing as they seem.  Other times, something might look like an excessive and extravagant purchase, but when you break it down by serving size, it becomes much more palatable (pun intended).  Case in point:  Shakeology.  Just about the healthiest protein shake you can find.  Problem?  One bag costs $120.  That's twice what I was used to paying for an entire week's worth of food!  BUT -- it provides one meal (one shake) a day for the whole month.  And we're talking a complete, WHOLESOME meal.  It breaks down to the following:

So, that's to say that that $120 bag actually provides an entire meal each day for you for less than a cup of your favorite coffee drink.  Economies of scale, people!

8.  BRANCH OUTSIDE OF YOUR RECIPES "COMFORT ZONE"
So you were raised being Butler'd caviar on a silver platter, eh?  Well, circumstances change, and so do your tastes.  But there are plenty of good substitutes for what you're used to, and when it comes to eating healthy on a dime, you may want to switch out your old Betty Crocker cook-book for something more -- how shall I say this, "flexible"? -- to the constraints of your wallet.

This really needs to be your best friend.

For me, I've found that a FANTASTIC way to eat healthy and clean on the cheap is to really embrace my inner-stew lover.  Stews, soups and chili are all hot, hearty, healthy and SUPER inexpensive to make organically.  Buy whatever produce is in season (particularly the varieties sold at the Farmer's Market) and make a stew in the crockpot.  Don't have a crockpot?  No worries, there are plenty of stew and soup recipes for just plan old soup pans on the stove:  Here's an example.

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So, obviously not an exhaustive list of tips and tricks (after all, I'm still learning these things as I go), and yes there are other money-saving ideas like using whole butter instead of olive oil in your cooking if you are able to be careful about portion controlling, but this is what I've come up with so far.

I would love to hear any ideas or tips you may have come up with to help save a dime on organic, clean eats.  Leave a comment! :)

"The All-Natural Taste That Wasn't"

"Isn’t it amazing how many additives it takes to make something taste natural?”

--Dr. Gary A. Reineccius

Once upon a time in a lifestyle far, far different than the one I have now, I was addicted to Penguin's.  It was a frozen yogurt joint that boasted the new CarboLite brand of ice creams in the era of Atkin's being all the rage, natural sugar was Satan reincarnated, and artificial sweeteners eaten by the boatload ensured you fit into that coveted size 4 miniskirt.

This addiction was in a time I like to refer to as the 'Dark Ages' of my life, when appearances meant the difference between attracting boys or not, which invariably equated to me believing I was lovable or not.  I was one of those girls who cared about one thing, and one thing alone:  The number on the scale.  And I didn't care about what I had to do to get there.

I would buy a medium-sized dish, which contained 10 oz. of the froyo concoction.  And that's what I would have for lunch.  This was back in the day when eating disorders still had a fast hold on my life and every single decision I made in each and every day was dictated by what I'd allow myself to eat, how my starvation would affect my ability to function in social settings, and how many workouts I planned to cram into the day.  It was an all-consuming obsession that I couldn't escape, but CarboLite was one thing that I felt I could count on - for one thing, I knew it had some protein in it.  But I also knew it was fat free, low calorie, and most importantly, it was one of the most filling things I'd let myself eat all day.

Now, this blog post isn't to resurrect old demons from a life so alien to me that I feel like I am talking about the past of a stranger, not of my own.  But I do have to say one thing:  Not everyone concerned about their weight and fitness is a clean eater.  In fact, the average dieter (who, mind you, often sees much success) follows a low fat / low cal / low sugar plan and disregards the tenets that we follow in terms of avoiding processed foods, preservatives, and artifical crap.  I know SO many people who still eat fro-yo religiously and see it as a healthy option.  Case in point -- this is the first review on the Yelp! page for Penguin's (link HERE):

"Healthy, delicious and reasonably priced."  Perhaps the latter two, but where did the notion come from that low carb yogurt was healthy?  Misconceptions, misconceptions.

CarboLite preceded a slew of other 'frozen fakies', as I call them.  Pinkberry, Yogurtland, and of course whatever other local shop you have around the corner (Menchies, Twist, etc etc etc).  I've been wanting to do some research for a while on the ingredients of these "healthy treats" as they are perceived, to deduce just how damaging that "harmless cheat" really is.  Fact of the matter is, I've developed a bit of a nasty habit with Yogurtland.  I've gotten into the habit of treating myself to it every Sunday.  I probably will still allow myself a little treat here or there (moderation is key!), but I wanted to do the research nonetheless, so I thought I would share it.  It wasn't easy, but this is what I have discovered...





Pinkberry's first store opened in Los Angeles in 2005.  Its famous "tart" flavor attracted a cult-like following for its fresh taste to a palate virgin to sorbets.  There was some controversy not too long ago that Pinkberry was false advertising that it was a Frozen Yogurt chain since scientific analysis of the product concluded that it did not meet the minimum bacterial count required by the FDA to be considered a yogurt.  In any event, the chain thrived and people flocked.

As The New York Times stated in their article The All-Natural Taste That Wasn't (full article found HERE), "[Pinkberry] initially touted its product as healthy, nonfat and all-natural, but did not say exactly what was in it."  Only a class-action lawsuit brought the chain to post the ingredients of it's products on it's website.

Healthy?  All-natural?  According to the same article, the Original flavor at Pinkberry had 23 ingredients, including 3 forms of chemical sugar derivatives and 5 food additives.  Current ingredients for Pinkberry Original Tart flavor include the following:

Nonfat milk, sugar, nonfat yogurt (pasteurized nonfat milk, live and active cultures), nonfat yogurt powder (nonfat milk, culture), fructose, dextrose, natural flavors, citric acid, guar gum, maltodextrin, mono- and diglycerides, rice starch

Fructose and dextrose are derivatives of high fructose corn syrup.  Guar gum is the product of grinding the endosperm (seeds) of the Guar Bean.  It forms into a paste of sorts that is eight times more potent than corn starch in thickening water-based products.  Maltodextrin is a polysaccharide, which is a long-chain sugar molecule (poly = many, saccharide = sugar).  But it is also a food additive.  According to Wikipedia, maltodextrin is created via hydrolysis of a starch (in the US, this starch is usually from corn).  A starch is a form of sugar, and hydrolysis is the process of rupturing a chemical bond of a substance by the addition of water molecules.  Essentially, adding water to the starch degrades the chemical structure of the molecules and separates them into an acid and a base component. The result is a much more rapidly absorbed and easily digested sugar-like powder.  While these are all processed components, they aren't ALL that heinous... yet.  Here's where the dirt begins. Monoglycerides and diglycerides are essentially the same thing; they are both "glycerides" formed by the combination of  glycerol and either one ("mono-") or two ("di-") fatty acids.  I reeeeally had to peel back the layers of the onion on this one to understand the chemical formulation of glycerides and their application to the food industry.  The first thing that became apparent was that these are obviously chemical food additives.  Glycerol is used in everything from pharmaceuticals and personal care products to antifreeze.  It has such a wide variety of uses that I won't bother listing them.  For the purposes of food additives, it is used as a filler in low-fat goods like cookies, as a humectant in tobacco products, as a thickening agent in liqueurs, an artificial sweetener in some goods, a preservative in others, and in the case of Pinkberry, an "emulsifier".

So now, what the hell is an emulsifier?  After a little research, this is what I learned (in laments terms):  an emulsifier is an agent that allows two substances to be mixed into a consistent  substance that normally would not be mixable.  For instance:  Oil and water.  They don't mix (they naturally separate).  But add an emulsifier, and it helps the two substances mix into a consistent substance.  So let's bring this full circle:  Glycerol (which, mind you is a main component of bar soap) mixed with a fatty acid (usually vegetable oil) creates a glyceride (either mono-, di- or tri-, depending on how many fatty acids are involved).  And these mono- and diglycerides become the emulsifying agent that keeps the consistency of a mixed food concoction uniform.  It's made in a lab, it is not natural, and it's sole purpose is to hold together all the random shit that is thrown into a food product and preserve it.

You still with me?  Or does Pinkberry still sound healthy to you?  As Dr. Gary A. Reineccius (a professor in the department of food science and nutrition at the University of Minnesota) said so poignantly in the New York Times article discussed above, "Isn’t it amazing how many additives it takes to make something taste natural?” 

Yogurtland surfaced about a year after Pinkberry's debut, no doubt riding the coattails of the "all natural, healthy froyo" craze, and boasts just as impressive a laundry list of ingredients.

Pasteurized and Cultured Skim Milk, Maltodextrin, Whey, Sorbitol, Polydextrose, Vegetable Mono & Diglycerides, Guar Gum, Cellulose Gum, Aspartame, Acesulfame Potassium, Locust Bean Gum, Carrageenan, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Caramel Color, Yellow 5, Red 40. 

Contains Live and Active Cultures: S. thermophilus, L. bulgaricus, L. acidophilus, Bifidobacterium ssp., L. rhamnosus, L. casei 

Phenylketonurics: Contains Phenylalanine

So what's the damage here?  We know what maltodextrin is, as we do mono- and diglycerides and guar gum.  Aspartame is an obvious no-no.  Locust Bean Gum is the same thing as Guar, just a different type of bean.  Cellulose Gum (also known as carboxymethyl cellulose) is a synthetic (read: manmade!) chemical additive.  According to Wikipedia, carboxymethyl cellulose "is used in food science as a viscosity modifier or thickener, and to stabilize emulsions in various products including ice cream." So it's a chemical that keeps things thick, helps keep the consistency stable, and is a tool of "food science."  Don't you just love that??  Oh and to make things better, according to the same webpage, carboxymethyl cellulose is also used in K-Y Jelly, toothpaste, laxatives, diet pills, water-based paints, detergents, textile sizing and various paper products.  YAY!! :S

Carrageenan is one of the items I've been most interested in researching, because I find it in endless "health" products.  Carrageenan is another polysaccharide extract kind of like maltodextrin, except that this one isn't from corn starch, but rather "red seaweeds". Apparently, carrageenans have been used in China since 600 B.C.  They are vegetarian, vegan, and have been used for hundreds of years as food additives.  Their inherent chemical structure allows the substance to create a gel.  Here's an interesting flow chart showing the process of extracting carrageenan from seaweed:

This is all fine and dandy, but check this out -- Carrageenan has been found to inhibit the transmission of HPV (and possibly HIV) in women when used as a personal lubricant, and further studies have shown that it can cause gastro-intestinal cancers and colon cancer.


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I tried researching the ingredients of CarboLite and other "low sugar, healthy, natural" icey treats, but I couldn't come across a list of their ingredients.   But I don't think it really matters, just from this list I think we get the point.

So, use this information as you please.  Obviously a treat here or there is perfectly fine.  But I think it's important to not dismiss these ingredients and turn a blind eye to them, as they are quite prevalent all sorts of the foods we consume.  Knowledge is power!

Of Pilots and Precedent (secrets we can learn about dieting from lawmen and engineers)

Two days ago, NASA's prized Mars rover, "Curiosity", landed on the face of the red planet without a hitch. From an outsider's perspective, one might find oneself thinking, "Well, of course it went off without a hitch; these guys are rocket scientists, after all!"  But just because someone is a genius -- much like with any expert, academic or athletic or anywhere in between -- it by no means is a guarantee that enormous challenges will go flawlessly.

Give a look at this video to get the gist of what sort of hoops this one-ton intergalactic laboratory-on-wheels had to jump through in order to call the first stage of it's mission a "success":

From a dieting perspective, there is actually one major thing we can learn from Curiosity through this.  It's a secret that rocket scientists, engineers, and pilots of all kinds know very well:  The concept of the "autopilot" feature.  According to Wikipedia, in the times prior to the invention of autopiloting, "...aircraft required the continuous attention of a pilot in order to fly safely.  As aircraft range increased allowing flights of many hours, the constant attention led to serious fatigue.  An autopilot is designed to perform some of the tasks of the pilot."

"So how does this apply to my diet and training?" You wonder.  Well, I'll tell you.  Did you watch that video above?  So many complex measures to combat so many unpredictable variables with little-to-no room for error, and yet it went without a hitch.  Why?  AUTOPILOT.  There was no thought, no emotion, no psychology or pressure felt by that little rover's driver.  That's because it's driver was a non-thinking, non-breathing robot built to make decisions in lieu of a human being whose many qualities which MAKE them human - fear, anxiety, and fatigue among them - create an atmosphere of increased probability for failure.  Simply put, some of the most wonderful qualities which make us who and what we are, can simultaneously work against us when we are up against a strict challenge.

If it's one thing I've learned thus far in my dieting, it's that the best way to ensure as easy a journey as possible is to put your mind on autopilot.  Too tired to go to the gym?  Shut your mind off and go anyway.  Don't listen to your mind.  Craving sweets or being terribly tempted?  Turn off your mind.  Go onto autopilot.  Keep going about your business and do not allow yourself to think or dwell on or crave those items.  Summon your inner robot and quarantine your feelings and emotions; it's okay to have them, and to express them, but if you refine your autopilot feature properly, you will soon develop the ability to segregate your thoughts and feelings from practical tasks you simply must just accomplish regardless of how you feel.

Sounds easier than in practice, huh?  Well, that is true without a doubt.  Downloading and installing a mental autopilot is no easy feat, especially if you don't believe you possess the power.  But I have good news - there's an app for it ;)

In the world of common law, we have this concept known as "precedent".  Precedent is a rule established in a previous legal case that was fully researched, presented to a judge and jury, and decided upon.  Some of these cases produce new laws (think Roe v. Wade).  In other instances it is more a matter of interpretation, such as whether an unborn fetus is considered a murder victim if it's mother is killed, or if through a physical crime to the mother the fetus dies.  The point is, how these decisions are decided upon in legal cases absolutely affects future cases, because prosecutors and defendants alike can use the rulings to support or refute new legal matters on the grounds that these prior cases were fully researched, fully presented, and fully decided upon.  No need to go through the motions again when the work has already been done, right?  Precedent also helps to ensure consistency in law and rulings, as well as expediency of trials and predictability of outcomes.

To tie this all together, when you are first setting out to control your mind and develop a sort of mental autopilot to help you either avoid temptations or stick to fighting the good fight in your workouts, you'll find that you naturally will develop a system of precedent in the beginning stage.  The more you stay strong and overcome adverse desires,  the easier it will be the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.  Don't get me wrong, the temptations don't fully go away, and the fatigue or laziness or general lack of motivation will occasionally creep in and dissuade you from working out.  But I can guarantee you that the more you ignore those negative thoughts and just force yourself to do what you gotta do anyway, the sooner you will develop that little autopilot function which makes getting through the less glamorous times much more manageable.  You realize you will survive.  You realize that no, you won't die if you don't get a slice of that cake, that the temptation will go away, and you'll remember how good you felt when you avoided the temptation.  The more you stick to it, the better of a case you will develop and the larger a library of precedent you will have to draw upon with each subsequent trial you face.  Your discipline will become more routine, and the outcomes much more predictable.

I have a coworker who brings pizza into the office everyday, and that's where the inspiration for this post came from.  I realized as she was heating up her customary four (FOUR!!) pieces in the convection oven, that I would just as easily pick up a raw onion and eat it like an apple as I would eat a slice of that pizza.  I wasn't tempted by it at all.  5 months ago, 4 months ago, I wouldn't have been able to say the same.  My mind still errantly associated psychological satisfaction with the physical act of eating pizza.  The tastes, the smells, and the textures all screamed "EAT ME!!" when I saw pizza.  But over the course of 6 months I have said, "No!!" enough times to realize I'm strong enough and perfectly capable of not succumbing to temptation, and now it isn't just a matter of using autopilot to help me avoid caving in; now, I'm not even tempted by it at all!  Pizza has no hold over me :)

So, regardless of where you are in your journey, whether you're the NASA Curiosity rover about to enter it's "7 minutes of terror" or you're already starting to colonize Pluto, I suggest you view overcoming challenges in a new light.  Attacking things systematically is always best especially if you have a logical thought process to lean on when the emotions come flooding in.  If you can learn to develop a little more of a mechanical approach toward the things in your life so easily derailed by human error, who knows where you'll land???  And I imagine the view will be spectacular once you arrive :)