PROGRESS PHOTO! Woo-hoo! :)

I'm on the right :)

Week TWELVE (omgz!): My Diet and Exercise routines

Can it be true??  In just 7 short days, I will have completed 3 months on this diet and exercise plan.  I consider this a pretty major milestone, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have kept the momentum going.  I continue to research more, learn more, change more and grow more.  What an incredible experience!

I have quit a bit of excellent news to share today.  As the DON'T QUIT saying goes...

Prior to this weekend, I honestly wasn't sure about my progress.  It kind of didin't matter if I was seeing results or not, because I was committed to seeing this thru 6 whole months regardless of what kind of results I saw.  And deep down, I knew I was approaching my fitness goals with honest, all natural, non-gimmicky science.  It was simple:  Eat clean, make sure I was meeting my caloric needs based off of my BMR and AMR, making sure those calories were composed of the correct percentages of fat, protein, and carbohydrates, and exercising intensly and smartly.  Given this approach, results weren't a matter of "if", but rather "when".

That said, however, I won't lie that I was hoping I'd see results quicker than I was.  I think by around week 10, I was beginning to wonder just how long it would take to start seeing ab definition - or at least a noticeable decline in abdominal fat.  Not that I had a lot, but it certainly was there in an unsatisfactory quantity.  But I held fast to the knowledge that while the scale hadn't budged in a while, I was still down 8lbs and clothes were noticeably fitting me better.

But then last week, in Week 11, a BIG thing happened - I was at work and running around to the printer a lot and my clothing was bothering me.  Not enough for me to think about it, until finally I was like WTF?  And then I noticed what it was that was bothering me - my underwear was slipping off my hips.  Something I never even thought to have to deal with!

And then it was yesterday that I consider the REAL moment that I got to see that things really are happening, really are changing.  I went into a sports store to buy some new bikini bottoms.  I had noticed several of my go-to's were a bit too baggy on me.  Granted, they always kind of had been - in order to find ones that fit my hips without giving me a muffin top, they typically were a little loose in the caboose-area, if ya know what I mean.  Also, I used to only buy my bikini's at Target.  So I felt I was ready to try out some new looks and possibly buy some more quality swimwear.

I walked into Pacific Sunwear and was feeling ambitious - I picked out styles that normally would have looked hideous on me (string bikinis, as opposed to the ones with thicker waistbands).  And, I chose one full size smaller than I have been my WHOLE. ENTIRE. LIFE.

The result?  $100 of purchases of bikinis that confirmed in the mirror what I've suspected the past couple weeks:  I have trimmed some serious inches off of my midsection. !!!!!!!!!

In other news, I have made some more changes to my routine.  I am going to start working out in the mornings at the gym instead of after work.  I find my workouts are better, and I can enjoy my day so much more by just getting it out of the way with first thing in the morning instead of wasting all of my post-work day in the gym battling lines for equipment.  Further, I'm adding a pier-to-pier sand run to my training schedule.  So here's what my current training schedule looks like:

Monday: 

Cardio

-Free-float Elliptical for 60 minutes

Weights - Back and Chest

-Seated Row (4 sets / 10 reps / 60lbs) with 12 Eagle Crunches in between sets

-Assisted Pull-up (4 sets / 10 reps / 60 lbs assisted) with 12 balance ball crunches in between sets

-Chest fly (4 sets / 8 reps / 40 lbs)

-Posterior delt Flys (4 sets / 8 reps / 30 lbs)

-Cable Machine chest press (4 sets / 10 reps / 40 lbs)

                           

Tuesday:

Cardio

-Ramp Elliptical for 60 minutes

Weights - Lower Body

-Smith Machine Squat (4 sets / 10 reps / 60lbs) with 30 leg raises in between sets using a 25lb. dumbbell

-Incline Leg Press (4 sets / 12 reps / 75lbs) with 15 cross-over crunches between sets

-Abbducter machine (4 sets / 15 reps / 60 lbs)

-Adducter Machine (4 sets / 15 reps / 60 lbs)

-Hamstring Machine (4 sets / 10 reps / 70 lbs)

Wednesday:

Cardio

-Stair Elliptical for 60 minutes

Weights - Shoulders and Biceps

-Shoulder press (4 sets / 10 reps / 30 lbs) with 15 bicycle crunches in between sets

-Bicep curls (4 sets / 10 reps / 40 lbs)

-Shoulder Fly while doing a one-legged squat on a bosu ball (4 sets / 12 reps / 5lb weight in each hand)

-Rotator Cuff exercises using cable machine (4 sets / 8 reps / 10 lbs)

**On wednesday, I also do a 90-minute class of moderate-level yoga after work**

Thursday:

REST DAY

-I will sometimes play a couple hours of volleyball at the pier after work on this day

Friday:

Cardio 1

-2 hour lesson in volleyball on my lunch break

Cardio 2

-10 sets on the santa monica stairs.  At the base of the stairs, 25 curbside tricep dips, and at the top, 25 crunches.  This usually takes me about 45 minutes to complete, and depending on my energy levels, I may round out the hour with 4 more sets on the stairs

Saturday:

Volleyball all day - 4 to 6 hours

Sunday:

Morning run on the beach (5.5 miles)

Volleyball rest of the day - 3 to 5 hours

As for diet, my general weekday routine is as follows:

Pre-workout

One Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Fibercake Muffin

One 11.4-fl oz Zico coconut water

1/3 Promax Bar (Lemon-flavored)

Post-Workout

20 fl. oz. water

(1) Clif's BUILDER protein bar (Mint Chocolate-flavored

2 hours later

(1) package of Trader Joe's plain-flavored Complete Oatmeal with 1 tbsp ground flaxseed meal

1/4 cup nonfat milk

2 hours later

20 Fl. Oz. water

1 cup nonfat cottage cheese with a LITTLE bit of Stevia for sweetness

Lunch

20 Fl. Oz water

6 oz. poached boneless skinless chicken breast

1 cup organic peas

1 piece of fruit (lately - Mango)

2 hours later
(1) package of Trader Joe's plain-flavored Complete Oatmeal with 1 tbsp ground flaxseed meal

1/4 cup nonfat milk

2 hours later
20 Fl. Oz. water
1 Fage 0% yogurt w/ honey
2 celery stalks
1 individually-wrapped portion of raw unsalted almonds

Dinner
1/2 cup egg whites, scrambled
1 whole egg, over-easy
2 cups spinach, sauteed with some garlic in 1/4 tbsp unsalted butter
1/2 cup roasted carrots

Now, depending on my work load - especially on Wednesday with 2 workouts - I'll throw in more fruit or sometimes a whole extra protein bar.  On Saturday and Sunday, if I have played an extraordinary amount of volleyball, I may end up doubling a whole meal or throw in a protein shake on top of everything else.

To end this blog, I shall depart with a screen shot of today's weight in at the gym.  In a word:  PROGRESS!

Grief and it's Impact on Motivation

So, today is Friday the 13th, it's raining, and I just broke up with someone I cared deeply for.

Now, I'll be the first to admit I have suffered break-ups that were TERRIFICALLY worse than this one.  With this one, it was just a case of us both caring about each other but wanting/needing different things.  He is only 8 months out of a 5-year relationship with a girl he truly loved, and while their relationship failed miserably and was full of drama, it nonetheless weighs on him heavily.  Not to mention she has learned of me and apparently has flipped out on him, calling him sobbing, saying she feels like her whole life with him has been replaced by me (which, I suppose, it has.  But she was the one who broke up with him!  What does she expect?  Plus she's been in a new relationship for several months now!  She's just got her panties in a twist because she's seeing he's finally moving on.)  Anyway, it understandbly kills him to see her hurt.

And you know what?  I'm going to go on a tangent here, but a lot of people have told me that him saying this as a reason for him being distant from me lately is complete bullshit, that he might as well be cheating on me.  To those people, I ask you to each slap yourselves in the face and snap out of it.  Have a heart.  We have all experienced deep, all-encompasing love that doesn't work out in the end; the kind that consumes everything about us, but is too troubled and turbulent and never would have lasted.  They will NEVER get back together.  But it is completely illogical to expect that he won't live with a piece of her in his heart for the rest of his life.  I know I certainly hold pieces of relationships with me!  When you love someone that much and it doesn't work out, that pain never fully goes away.  It's a lie if people tell you it does, just as it's unreasonable to expect people to never harbor pain and sorrow from past relationships.  There is something about that bond that stays with you, remains a part of you, and haunts you for a very long time.  It's a pain that never goes away; it's something you rather just learn to live with and move on carrying.  Yes, time heals; yes, you can move on.  But the memories will always be there, and it can take years to fully rebound.

It hurts him to see her hurt.  It kills me inside to see himself sabotaging such a good thing with me for guilt of something that is in the past and dredging up useless demons to plague him in teh present.  But as a human, I find it endearing.  If I were in her shoes, I would like to know my former love was feeling this way; there is comfort in knowing you aren't alone in going thru the grief and healing process of divorcing yourself from someone who once held your whole heart in their hands.

I can be compassionate; in fact, I have to be.  Otherwise, anger and sadness and bitterness will take over.  But I have a lot of stress now because I don't feel like he understands that I need him to let me go entirely.  His argument is that neither one of us is necessarily looking for anything - and it's true.  Neither of us is in the market for marriage or children, so it's no real rush.  So, he asks, why does it have to be all or nothing.  Can't we keep it the way it is and just enjoy each other's company?  And I had to tell him no; it's not enough.  Because even though he says he cares for me, I care for him in a way that wants more.  I want to feel loved and special and wanted and desired.  I could do the casual thing so long as those feelings of endearment were shared.  But they aren't - in his own self-confessed words, he loves spending his time with me, but can't deal with obligation, he wants to be able to do whatever he wants, when he wants - not in being with other women, but doing whatever activities he wants without feeling obligated to take someone else into consideration.  And yea that really hurts, but it's honest and truthful and I've felt it before.  So I can understand.

But all of this to say, I am not feeling happy right now.  In fact, I am downright sad.  I feel my life is in flux, I'm not sure what I'm going to lose in all of this, and I fear the change that I'll have to push myself thru.  It is exhausting, and it is raining, and all I want to do is hunker down on my coach and drown myself in comfort foods and slip into a coma.

But, I will not. 

I am going to channel this sorrow into something better.  I am going to use it to motivate me to push harder.  I will dwell on the idea of finding someone more better suited for me.  I will dwell on possibly winning my ex back and looking more beautiful than ever when he has time to realize what he lost and how bad he messed up.  He never did me wrong, so I would take him back.  But if all else fails, I will do it because at least I know this one thing is true:  hard, tireless work put toward a goal I want so badly, will never disappoint.  I will never regret it.  The tears shed in the heat of a battle are always the most cathartic, regardless of whether I am victorious or not.  I will fight to prove that I don't need anyone's support but my own to achieve my goals.

I am looking at my diet journal right now for the day and it is so boring and unsatisfying-looking.  Even still, as I choke down this protein shake for lunch, I remind myself that the sacrifices I am making in terms of food consumption are worth it for the other benefits I get to experience all day long.  Once my liver converts this all into nothing more than glycogen and by-products, and that stuff feeds my cells and I no longer feel hunger, WHAT I ate really won't matter anymore.  It might taste like shit, but the temporary satisfaction of tasting with my tongue vanishes rapidly once I have the rest of the day to regret the weakness of an unnecessary cheat meal.

Plus, here's the thing to think about food.  We tend to use it as a reward because its pleasures are immediate and our brains are addicted to the feel-goodies produced by it.  But it is possible to re-train your brain.  It is possible to remind yourself that there is more than one way to treat yourself - shopping or doing a certain activity, or perhaps indulging in some quality quiet time (nap, anyone???) are great ways to treat yourself and derive the same kind of feel-goody feelings.

I'm going to kick my own ass in my workout later today, enjoy the catharsis of exhaustion, and think about what I want to do tonight.

And all to the tunes of two of my favorite songs right now:

Brittney Spears:  Stronger 

Kelly Clarkson:  Stronger

Doubt your limits. Then, limit your doubts :)

Isn't it great when you are able to take your own advice to heart and put it to practice??  Today I had to wake up at 5am to workout because I promised to play some evening volleyball after work and (although it is vigorous exercise) I just can't constitute that an adequate workout.  So I suppose today is a two-a-day for me??

Anyway, morning workouts are difficult just because of the nature of them: they are in the morninggggg.  Now, I most definitely consider myself a morning person, I can't wait to get up and start the day.  But my gym workouts are extremely challenging and my mind isn't "awake" enough yet to really get going.  This isn't necessarily a problem, as I'll usually just close my eyes and meditate while I let me body do the work.  But to go from a sleeping state where the blood pressure is like 80/50 and the heart rate is in the low 50s, to a heart-pounding cardio session with a 170bpm and sweat pouring down the face is no easy task.  It's like asking a a 1990s-model Toyota Corolla to go dfrom 0 to 60MPH in 6.8 seconds :S

In any event, I swallowed the words I typed in this post yesterday.  I imagined when I wrote the words that sometimes we think we have dug as deep as we can until we reach the concrete floor of the playground sandbox, yet still need to find a way to dig deeper.  Each time I wanted to quit, I told myself that I couldn't and forced myself to be capable of reaching deeper and deeper to find the strength and desire to not just finish, but finish strong.  I knew I could do it, that it was just a matter of the mind, and one of my biggest goals of undertaking this new lifestyle was to gain back control from my mind.  And you know what the result was?

930 CALORIES, BABY!  In less than an hour and a half!

I kept reciting all the things I wrote in my blog about busting thru low motivation.  It was sheer will power that got me thru it.  And then I realized, despite this being such a phsyical challenge, most of all of this is mental.  The human body has very few limitations... it's our minds, our doubts, and the things we proclaim as truths to ourselves that constrain us.

So I thought I'd just chime in a bit of inspiration for those of you struggling to fight the good fight.  Just trust me:  pushing yourself is hard in the beginning, but it is worth it's weight in GOLD.  Because the more times you realize that it's your mind that's preventing you from achieving your dreams, the more (and more easily!) you are able to overcome future challenges.  

The Greatest Article of All Time

What an inspiring read!  Educational, common sense, and the "update" at the end was so motivating.

"I like to speak of the pursuit of fitness as being on the path. Regardless of your current condition, regardless of your weight, regardless of your genetics, if you are willing to get on the path and follow it you will be changed. The degree of change is up to you. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes self-control. The rewards of being on the path however greatly exceed the sacrifices. When you step on the scale and have lost another pound you will not regret the pizza that you did not share with your friends. When you lift your shirt and for the first time see the outline of your abdominal muscles you will not regret that you drank water instead of beer or pop. When you play with your children and find that you actually have the energy to keep up with them you will not regret the time that you spent exercising."

The Article:  Ripped Abs - A Free Diet and Fitness Plan That Works

"Dieting can be an exhausting mental feat." (Motivation for the hard days now and ahead)

So today, I'm dealing with the problem of wanting to eat more because I don't feel mentally satisfied.

And it isn't just today, it's a LOT of the time :/

I think this is a struggle a lot of us deal with.  I mean, after all, food is such an emotional tool.  We eat when we're bored, when we're sad, when we're happy.  We eat for comfort, we eat for holidays, we eat because someone brought in a box of donuts to work that have been sitting in the break room calling our names with alluring gentleness.  And when we are on a diet, it doesn't matter how much motivation we have; there will just be those days where temptation is stronger than others, where our strength to fight the good fight seems daunting compared to our desire to relax and indulge without abandon.

Dieting can be an exhausting mental feat.  But if we can overcome these moments of weakness, they make us so much stronger!

Regardless of whatever inspiration I cling to today, the simple fact of the matter is I am slightly miserable today.  My morning bowl of oatmeal is really the only grain I allow myself each day.  All other forms of carbohydrate come from fruit, veggies and dairy.  I don't eat breads or pastas or rice.  I don't bake (and processed foods are out of the question) and I don't keep any goodies in the house.  For me, not even "out of sight, out of mind" works; once it's in the mind, it stays there :/

I so badly want to go and make a whole double serving more of oatmeal and eat it for nothing other than the comfort of the feeling of fullness.  Not to say I'm hungry - I'm quite full!  But the taste and the texture and the warmth that oatmeal brings with it's earthy grainy-ness and slight Stevia-induced sweetness, and that rush of feel-good feelings that hits the brain as the body begins to flow with glycogen and insulin and other hormones.... that is what I want.

But of course, I've come much too far, and endured much to much, to ever cave in. 

I'd like to reflect, though, on the times this feeling came around in my past dieting attempts, when I WASN'T successful at fighting them.  What is different now versus then?  Why is my motivation stronger now than it ever was before?  I believe the answer lies in the fact that this is a kamikaze mission of sorts for me.  After all, the whole reason I took on this project to commit to a clean diet and rigorous fitness routine, was because I was tired of half-assing myself; I want to prove to myself - NEED to prove to myself - that I am capable of giving 100% to something.  I know I am stronger than I give myself credit for, and I'm tired of making excuses that I am mentally weak.  I don't have to be weak if I don't want to; I can be strong and achieve goals I never imagined.  I just need to teach myself how.

But there are other things; Pure motivation helped me thru the first 4 weeks of my diet.  In my opinion, those are the most lethal weeks.  The first week can sometimes be easy if you're highly motivated.  But by the second week, you are exhausted, you are aware of your misery and the temptation, and you realize what a long haul you have ahead of yourself.  If you can survive week 2, week 3 can be a better if you can resist the urge to "reward yourself" for surviving the first two weeks.  My advice? AVOID REWARDS IN THE FIRST MONTH AT ALL COST.  They will set you up for failure!  One reward too many and the guilt settles in, and you haven't toughed it out thru enough yet to forgive yourself for a slip up and WHAM! Back you are to surrendering, saying you can't do it, you'll retry another time, or [insert another lame excuse].

But after the first month, that's when less volatile motivation starts coming your way.  You know, the kind that actually can stick with you, and is a real weapon against future temptations.  It's less a feeling, and more of a reality.  You've made it one month, and you've survived a variety of temptations, grueling days, hunger spells, and all the other un-fun things that come with starting a new diet and suffering thru the blood sugar crashes until you figure out which foods work for you at what times of the day to get you thru just fine.  You have a sense of empowerment and belief that this actually could work.  Your body has adjusted and is weaned off of the sugars, caffeine and fatty foods you once depended on to get you thru the day.  You have more energy to get thru your workouts.  You notice cravings subside, your taste buds change, and a sense of interest and excitement fills you for what kind of new meals you can cook using different foods with different flavors, and OMG your fat pants are too big and you're fitting into clothes you used to be too large for!  Instead of treating yourself to food, you find yourself treating yourself to new clothes.  It's a whole different high, and your enslavement to food rapidly begins to loosen its grip.

2 weeks later the scale continues to budge, people start making comments, and you start feeling beautiful; not because you look better on the outside, but because you realize you are treating your body with the respect you have known all along it deserves.  And you feel powerful, SO powerful and unstoppable that you begin challenging yourself to other goals that used to just be dreams or impossibilities.  Those become your fuel.

And the good just keeps coming; it never becomes less good.  The more you stick to the commitment, the better it is.  No one has ever committed to a nutrition and fitness program and ended up with results that were so good that they suddenly became undesirable.  Because even if you achieve the appearance you want, there is always more - there are competitions, races to be won, activities to be tried, mountains in foreign countries to be climbed, and people to bond with.  Experiences to share.  Motivational speeches to be given to the next crop of hopefuls who used to be like you, who would fail in the first weeks and lay convinced that they weren't made for success.  There is always more.

BUT.  This isn't to say there won't be bumps in the road, failures, shortcomings, disappointments.  The key is to know that you and you alone have the power to overcome them.  And I'm not talking about forgiving yourself for a slip-up and getting back on the bandwagon - I'm talking about before the slip-up happens, that moment when you are aware that you are being tempted, that moment when you allow that voice to start justifying an action that you don't want to cave into, but the allure of giving in grows ever deafening. YOU POSSESS THE ABILITY TO WALK AWAY.  TO SAY NO.  The question is, do you want it bad enough?  Can you overcome the mental anguish of constantly fighting desires in your mind and body?  Can you be exhausted but still get your butt on that elliptical, and then on top of that, muster the carnal energy needed to push yourself to a 160BPM heart rate on that machine despite your mind begging to go sit on the couch and zone out?  Can you will yourself to go to sleep at night despite your stomach asking for a tasty treat and a gentle sugar coma to carry you to your dreams?  Can you go out with friends for happy hour and watch them consume beverages and half-off hors d'ouvres but still manage to be happy and social and comfortable with the knowledge that you cannot - WILL not - indulge in these tasty tokens, no matter how badly you want them, for no other reason than that it goes against the goal you have set out to achieve?  And can you ignore the voice that does speak a degree of truth - that a few indulgences here and there aren't all that bad for you - just for the sheer principal that caving into temptation is not an option, that you have put your foot down and promised yourself you would give absolutely everything you had to this mission and no matter how minor the offense, you would JUST SAY NO??

Eric Thomas said that we will only be successful when we want to succeed as bad as we want to breathe.  Have you ever almost drowned, and felt that desperation for a gasp of air?  Nothing will stop you, it is a life-or-death battle.  And that is how we must approach gruelling long term goals.  The only way we will see the end result is if we fight for it like we were fighting for our last breath.  And you CANNOT ease up on it.  It must be ever-present.  Sometimes nutrition and fitness goals are like treading water in the middle of the ocean with a 30 pound weight around your waist.  You can't just arbitrarily decide one day to "take it easy" on your struggle to keep your head above the surface.  If you want to live, you will give everything you have until you make it.  You can't just half-ass a struggle to get to the surface. Sometimes it will come easily and other times you will feel like you've dug as deep down into your core as possible to find strength, so deep that you've reach the bottom like the cold concrete base of a playground sandbox, and yet against all reason you must still dig deeper.  Some days you will be on that treadmill and you're about to start and you are SO weak, all you can think  of is all the other things you need to get done or want to do.  All you can think about is that report that is stressing you out, that bill you're not sure how you're going to pay, that coworker who is threatening to get you fired at work, the transmission you need to get fixed on your car.  One day you may lose your job, or the love of your life might leave you, or your dad might die.  And you will find yourself on that treadmill with a perfectly good excuse to let yourself be weak and tired, let yourself BELIEVE you cannot muster the energy that is required to crush that cardio session.

What is life though, really?  Were we ever told that none of the aforementioned tragedies would ever happen to us?  Or that they would happen to us, but no to others?  I'll tell you now, EVERYbody is in pain.  Everybody has a worry.  The day I was told I had cervical dysplasia and had to get a biopsy to tell me how invasive it was, I had every reason to not go to the gym.  I had every reason to spend that day immersed in as many happy relaxing thoughts and environments as possible, indulge in as many treats as I wanted.  But I didn't, I went to the gym and my tears were masked by the sweat pouring down my forehead.  This is life, and these things happen, but as long as you're alive, there is still hope.  And even when there isn't hope, there is the satisfaction of never giving up.  Life's real dreams are the ones that can be realized only by waking up, not by drifting back into catatonic nonexistence.

Anyway, that's my random stream of consciousness for the day.  Nto really sure if I wrapped it up to any meaningful conclusion, but it certainly achieved my goal of venting my frustration for wanting to eat more oatmeal :D  Now I wanna go workout real hard!

Here was yesterday's Week 10 Weigh-In:

Weight is up a smidge, but body fat percentage is down.  Can't ever full ytrust these machines, but could it be I'm leaning down and adding more muscle mass??

This.

I have gotten into the habit of hunting down inspirational youtube videos.  Isn't that site amazing?  I am only just now beginning to grasp the magnitude of the power of communication.

So today, I want to share this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

In week 10, I will listen to this video each day before my workout.  And next week, I will find a new video to share, and then another new one, and another, until like a mantra these words of inspiration turn into actions with purpose.  So many philosophies out there can be realities if we just adopt them and become the physical embodiments of them.

And for that matter, while this is not exercise-oriented, I thought I would share this video... possibly the most incredible video / speech I have ever heard in my life:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WibmcsEGLKo&feature=related

Today Starts Week 10: A Little Vignette About Cheat Meals

So, I read an interesting article today that a facebook page I follow linked up to.  The article is entitled The Ultimate Cutting Guide and while I feel like it's geared more toward men, it brought up something interesting to me.  At the end of the article, it talks about the necessity of having a dietary "cheat meal" - not one that is necessarily unhealthy, but one that is heavy in carbohydrates.  The idea is to have a one-time increase in your caloric intake to increase your metabolism and keep it high and strong.  The article suggests the following "schedule" for cheat meals:

There is no exact science here but I would quite simply start with some markers.  If bodyfat is in excess of 25% there are no cheat meals as in the onset, someone at this level will make conscious and unconscious mistakes.

• 15 - 25% bodyfat I would look at implementing a cheat meal every 4-5 weeks.
• 10 - 15% bodyfat I would apply a cheat meal at least every 14 days without fail.
• 4 - 10% I would use a ‘re-feed’ or cheat meal every 7-10 days.

Well, depending on what gadget I use, my body fat is at about 17-18% right now.  And being that today marks the beginning of Week 10, I find Saturday night to be reasonable:  I had a ltitle bit of a cheat moment ;)

The important thing is to take into consideration your motives for cheating.  Are you caving into temptation for a food you REMEMBER to be good, but aren't necessarily craving?  Are you simply craving a food and feel you have earned it?  For me, I've felt tempted various times along the past 2 and a half months but my absolute die-hard motivation to not half ass this journey has kept me on the straight and narrow.  But interestingly enough, about 4 weeks into my program I had a particularly brutal workout and felt the need to cheat, and the same thing goes this past Saturday night, too.  It was more a matter of listening to my body; it was begging for high-carb energy and fat.

The first time I caved in, I had no choice; my blood sugar levels were so low that I was about to pass out, so I ate thai food.  Whatever, it was a one-time thing and I forgave myself quickly for it.  But on Friday I had an enormous workout:  a 90 minute round trip bike ride to the Santa Monica stairs, where I ended up doing 20 sets (and for the first 10, I did 25 curbside tricep dips before going up the stairs, and 25 twisted crunches on the Bender Ball before going back down them).  The result was the following:

Then on Saturday I rode my bike to the beach and played volleyball all day, followed by riding my bike home and getting dinner with my bestest friend.  I intended to have a "cheat meal" that night and get a bunch of sushi rolls.  There is nothing I love better than an avocado california roll drenched in teriyaki sauce!  And I was considering even getting a diet coke.  But then I began to review all the ingredient of a diet soda and was turned off.  Then, after looking over the menu at the Sushi restaurant, I ended up settling for a salmon salad and miso soup, just because it sounded so good!  So much for a cheat meal!

On my way home, I still felt my body crying for simple (non-fruit) carbohydrates.  I was considering getting a piece of cake at the local Whole Foods food bar when I instead remembered my favorite not-so-guilty treat of years past:  THESE little suckers!

It was the greatest cheat meal I've ever had; so guilt-free (relatively speaking... despite these not really being "Eat Clean Diet"-friendly!), somewhat nutritious with their iron and a little protein and fiber... but coupled with a tall glass of nonfat milk, and this really hit the spot the way half a bag of Oreo's can but with a fraction of the dietary regret ;)  I let myself have 2 servings and put the rest of the container into the freezer.  the problem is, though, is that I don't like to throw away food, so now I hear those cookies singing to me at all hours when I'm home.  I wonder what I should do with them?

Anyway, I think it's important to really analyze why you are having a cheat meal, and to make sure that whatever you eat, really hits the spot for your reason to cheat while still being a healthy alternative (if possible) and consumed in moderation.  That little bowl of cookies super charged me, and I woke up ready to tackle the day on Sunday morning.

As for this week, I will continue to strive for cardio performance while also upping the weights I'm lifting in the gym.  I'm afraid I may not be taking in enough calories in the day, and am considering re-analyzing my diet to see if I need to add more or less of something.  I do feel a bit of a carbohydrate deficit lately, but possibly only because of three vicious back-to-back cardio days.  One thing I have to say, is that I felt INCREDIBLY lean yesterday for the first time in a long while.  People from all over have been complementing me - and not even just close friends, some are people who are completely unaware that I have embarked on this journey.  They say that it takes 4 weeks for you to notice a difference, 6 weeks for close friends and family, and 8 weeks for the general public.  So at 10 weeks, I feel I'm right on track.

10 weeks down, 16 left... Did I mention THIS happened?  This is the lightest I've weighed in several years :)

Progress photos!

I forgot, I want to start logging these pictures! 

First and foremost, I sadly did not take a "before" photo of my body.  I think mostly because I didn't want to confront how terrible I looked.  Remember, prior to starting this journey, I was still working out 5-6 days a week and eating a relatively decent diet.  I was just doing things all wrong, splurging too much on alcohol and such, and so my body wasn't reflecting the work I was putting into it.  But it was difficult for me to take that "before" photo because I didn't want to believe I look as bad as I do.  However, my good friend who is a professional volleyball player has a great camera and was snapping shots of us at the end of 2011/beginning of 2012, so here are some of the shots I detagged myself in on Facebook because I was horrified at how tubby I looked (especially around the middle!)

This is a difficult one for me to look at.  My midsection look atrocious.

Not a bad shot, but shows the love handles, belly and general softness/lack of toning.

For whatever reason, when I first saw this photo, I IMMEDIATELY detagged myself and felt horrified.  It's really not that bad, but I felt like my midsection made me look SO fat.  Not to say that I am, but it's all relative.  For the amoutn of time I spend working out, it looks like I haven't seen the inside of a gym in a month in this shot :/

Leg fat, blehhhh

My gym has a machine that measures body data given your age, gender and height.  At the beginning of my third week, my stats were the following: 148.5lbs, BMI of 21.9, 19.3% body fat, and a blood pressure reading of 95/66

2 weeks later, at the end of week 6, my stats were the following:  Weight was 144.6lbs, BMI of 21.4, Body Fat of 18.5% and blood pressure of 95/61

At the end of week 8 (last week), my stats read 140.7lbs, BMI of 20.8, body fat of 17.9% and blood pressure of 90/60.

I was scared to weigh myself before I began my program; suffice it to say I knew my clothes weren't lying.  But I know I was around 150-151 pounds.  (For the record, I am 5'9").  This falls in line with the progression of my weight loss.  It makes sense that I am averaging about a pound of weightloss a week, although I can't say how much fat I am losing, and how much muscle I am gaining.  But no matter - my clothes are noticeably fitting great and I'm being able to wear things I haven't since I was a teenager. Case in point:  This photo was taken on St. Patty's Day (the end of Week 7):

(I'm the one with the clovers on her booty, haha)

While I am clothed in this photo (as opposed to the bikini "Before" shots), I think it's still easy to note a leaning down of my thighs and midsection.

 Each week I'll log some new photos and body data shots :)

Media Fasting (Digital Diet)

So, yesterday I made the wise decision to not check Facebook on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I feel I am spending way too much time on social media, and thought it would be a good thing for me.

It is 8:57am on Tuesday.  I have been at work for 32 minutes.  I already have had to fight the urge to open up Facebook SIX TIMES.

Did I mention I compulsively checked it this morning?  That doesn't bother me too much though, it's part of my wake-up routine to see what people are up to, read articles posted, get some pop news.  I should have launched my BBC app instead to get the news, but truth be told, I am sick and tired of reading about the most recent bombing in some god-forsaken country, or what some idiotic political pundit has said about the next political-economic crisis this country faces. (Can you tell I'm a bit bitter this morning?)

In any event, I figured this would be good cause to do a little experiment and explore the addiction to social media. 

Everyone uses social media for different reasons.  Parents may use it to keep tabs on kids or to share photos and updates to those distant relatives or people close to the family.  Some people use it for their business, some for artistic reasons, and most use it as an outlet of some fashion.  For me, I am terrible with my phone.  I hate talking on it, I never return calls, and lately I've even gotten pretty bad about responding to text messages.  Don't believe me?  Here's a screen shot of my iPhone I took just now:

108 unresponded to text messages.  And that's not even my record!  Not to mention those 57 unlistened to voicemails... uuugh.

In any event, social media (namely, Facebook) is my preferred medium of communication, mostly because I can multitask it.  I can easily share information, events, or important news, I can coordinate volleyball games using the groups I belong to, I can "have conversations" with people via chat without them being able to see I am doing the same thing with 12 pther people at the same time... I can keep in touch with my international friends, and I can stay up to date with people without the invasive measure of setting up one-on-one time.

For me, Facebook allows me to indulge in my DISLIKE for having to devote exclusive one-on-one face time with people which, of course, comes with the requirement of giving them my fully-undividied attention.  With Facebook, it allows me to maximize the benefit of having many friends while minimizing the maintenance time needed to nurture those friendships.  I personally march to the beat of my own drum and while I am incredibly social (when I want to be), I also need a LOT of space.  I don't do well with commitments of any sort, they make me feel trapped and constricted.  I can count the number of people on two hands that I willingly look forward to and enjoy one-on-one time with.

But I'd be remiss to say that I didn't use Facebook as an extension of my identity and self-expression.  Not feeling connected, or having the illusion that people are aware of my existence by way of my status updates, is actually a formidable discouragement against distancing oneself from social media.  I know this is only Day One (and I'm only doing this 2 days a week!) but I feel this will definitely be an enlightening experience, for sure.

Today Starts Week 9

Today starts week 9, and I have felt a rather strong need to blog about the ups and downs I have experienced over the past week.

The first (and best!) thing was on Friday, during my after-work workout. I intended to run a 5k, and then do the stairs.  But only a half mile into my run, I realized it couldn't be completed - not because of fatigue or cramping, but because my running shorts (which, mind you, I have been wearing for the past EIGHT YEARS), are now officially too big for my body and kept slipping off every 3 or 4 steps of my run.  I can assure you I didn't fret over having to pinch-modify my workout for this; it was a definitely a moment of well-earned revelry for me :)

I instead completed 14 sets on the stairs in an hour and 12 minutes.  Each time I got to the bottom of the stairs (for the first 10 sets) I did 25 curbside tricep dips, and each time I got to the top (for the first 10 sets of stairs) I did 25 twisting crunches on a Bender Ball.  I love Bender Balls because I can do crunches on hard surfaces without hurting my back or tailbone, and they also disable your hip flexors from doing a lot of the work of a crunch and force you to utilize all of your abdominal muscles instead.  Plus it's compact and easy to tote around in my gym bag. Here's a link to the Bender Ball.  I highly recommend it!

But there were many downsides to the past week or so.  They were more or less natural, so I am trying not to get down on myself, but allow me to expound.  First, I've had a friend in town for the week visiting from South Korea.  He arrived a hot mess; super sick with a sinus infection and horrific-sounding chest congestion.  I have always had a weak immune system so immediately wanted to avoid him like the plague - literally.  On the plus side, I made it almost 5 days without a single symptom; something I like to believe is because of the great care I have been taking of my body thru diet and proper rest the past 2 months.

But, alas, come Saturday, I was beginning to feel the familiar lethargy and weakness of my body fighting something off.  So, for the first time ever, in light of my commitment to "doing things right", I bought Airborne and Vitamin C and began a regimine of early care.  It's been a couple days and while I am still a little run down, I am hopeful I may be able to get by relatively unscathed.  We got rained out of volleyball on Saturday but I still forced myself thru a cardio session at the gym despite my tiredness and weakness.  In hindsight, I don't know how smart of a decision that was; I should have listened to my body and rested.  But nonetheless, I got it done.  Sunday I did a one hour volleyball lesson and that was it.  I knew I needed to not workout.

On top of this all, I was (and, 3 days later, still am!) incredibly sore from my workout on Friday.  My calves are actually painful to the touch! 2 months into such a rigorous workout regimine, and I am beginning to notice my body asking for a few days of rest to repair itself.  I know this is normal and necessary, but it is difficult because I hate the feeling of falling behind by not working out.  I want to keep pushing thru because I am eager for results.  But I have to keep reminding myself that I am not doing this for some immediate result that is unsustainable; the changes I am trying to make, I want to last a lifetime.  And they will not come immediately, and they must be made with as much care and respect toward my body as is natually necessary.  So I may take it easy tonight and not workout, or perhaps take Wednesday off in addition to Thursday, and just do Yoga that day instead of a double workout.

Lastly, when I feel myself getting sick, I naturally crave fattening food.  It may be the only time I ever crave McDonald's.  Not because I want IT, but because my body wants fat.  Not sure why, but I suppose it's my body's way of storing up energy just for safe measure.  I also find I get healthier quicker if I give my body what it wants.  I quit my food journal a few weeks ago but I've found myself cutting corners; eating an extra protein bar each day, electing fruits instead of veggies, drinking a little more nonfat milk than I'd like to admit.  I know these things add up.  And then last night, I felt it necessary to indulge in a treat dinner for the sake of my health; my body was exhausted, sore and needed a break.  So I made my FAVORITE meal of all time (much to the delight of my boyfriend, who devoured it and raved about it afterwards) of pesto salmon, a rasberry-spinach salad and mushroom herb risotto.  It was a sincere splurge on my part, but they say every couple of weeks you need to splurge so that you can keep up with the program.  So I did it, and starting today I will re-initiate the food journal for two weeks to ensure I am on track with caloric intake.

So, all of this to say, I feel like I hit a bump in the road and things kind of fell apart relative to my no-tolerance policy to cheating.  But today is the start of a new week, and also the start to my third month, so what better time to clean it up and push forward?

Things I Want To Change In Week Nine

As per my tradition of picking something new to change each week, I have many items I either want to re-commit to, or initiate for the first time.

RECOMMITMENTS

1. First of all, I would like to re-commit to never using artifical sweetener.  I've gone to coffee shops a few times and caved into their lack of stevia.  I know I said I would give up Stevia for good, but I think I will allow myself to have it in my cottage cheese each day to keep things light and tasty.  Otherwise, absolutely NO sweetener in my coffee/tea.
2. On the topic of coffee shops, I want to recommit to only pouring nonfat (and a little 2%) milk in my coffee.  All of that whole milk and Half n' Half really adds up, and it is unnecessary.  If I want to enjoy a cup of decaf, I'm going to need to train myself to take it far lighter than I'm used to.  Otherwise, I might as well just eat a whole ice cream sunday for the amount of fat I am pouring into the drink!
3. I splurged and got a Chai Latte twice this weekend at Coffee Bean.  It was cold, and I love them.  NO MORE.  Too many artifical sweeteners and syrups and processed crap.  So I am re-committing to that.

NEW COMMITMENTS

1. Media Fasting / Digital Diet:  I've decided that I am going to stay off of facebook (save one check, maybe at like 3pm each day? Just to make sure I don't miss any important messages as my friends and I mostly communicate just thru the website).  I feel I spend far too much time on Facebook, particularly at work.  Time to do other things, even if it means visiting other websites and learning about random stuff about literature or history or science or something.
2. Cutting back on fruits and upping veggies:  Veggies are hard for me because my stomach desn't digest them well.  I get terribly bloated and get horrible stomach aches, so I have to be careful about how many I eat and when.  But I think I may limit my fruit intake to just 2 servings a day, and then throw in celery and carrot sticks into the mix.  They are completely unsatisfying to me unfortunately (I don't allow myself to have nut butters just because of the fat and caloric content), but whatever; I'll have to learn to make do.  Either that, or frozen peas - they have sugars in them, but are so tasty.... we'll have to see.
3. Reflection:  I want to devote at least one hour each week to quality quiet time and reading.  I really need to focus on devoting rest and relaxation time for myself, for mental clarity and reflection and just recovery in general.  If I keep pushing myself at the pace I'm going without any break, or filling up my "gym off days" with tons of peripherally exhausting activities, I will do nothing but get sick, worn down, and miserable.  So I really want to commit to that one hour - maybe twice a week? - of alone time to reflect.  And perhaps commit to blogging more often???

Here's the recipe I mentioned earlier.  Super simple, takes like 30 minutes from start to serving!

Megan's Baked Pesto White Wine Salmon

Ingredients for Salmon:

(2) 1/2lb Salmon Filets - Boneless and Skinless (if you get it with skin, fear not; you can easily remove it after cooking.  I actually wil eat the skin since it has tons of healthy oils)

(1) Medium-sized Lemon

Parmesan Cheese (to taste - but maybe 1/8 cup total?)

(1) Bottle white cooking wine ( I prefer chardonnay, it has a certain taste that pairs well with the salmon)

(1) container of Pesto (You'll need about 4-6 ounces of it.  I suggest THIS Trader Joe's kind, or you can make it yourself)

Side Salad

Two options.  You can buy Trader Joe's pre-packaged Baby Spinach Salad with Cranberries, Candied Pecans, Bleu Cheese and a Raspberry Viniagrette which I LOVE with this dish, for its light sweetness.  You can add in some avocado and mandarian oranges for more flavor.  Here is a picture of the salad:

OR you can make it yourself using the following:

(1) bag organic baby spinach

1/4 cup dried cranberries

1/4 cup mandarian oranges

1/8th cup candied pecans (or your favorite nut - you can't go wrong! they don't need to be candied since the fruit provides enough sweetness)

Cheese - if you're going to do this salad yourself, I suggest goat cheese since it is a delight with the oranges.  But feta or Bleu work just fine, as well! Or you can skip the cheese altogether and opt for avocado.

1/4 cup coarsely diced red onion (optional)

Salad Dressing - I'd go for something light so as not to mask the melody of flavors in the salad.  Even just a little olive oil, salt and freshly-squeezed citrus juice (lemon, lime and a little bit of the mandarian orange juice works great!!)

Carbohydrate

Normally I wouldn't serve carbs with this meal, but if you really need to, or if you're serving this at a dinner party and require a carb or some such, I suggest one of the following:

Since I am not yet an experienced cook when it comes to more complex dishes and flavors, I bought the Trader Joes Mushroom & Herb boxed risotto.  I know this can be made from scratch, but I'm not that advanced yet.  It has a smooth creaminess that complements the tartness of the salad and pungent basil in the pesto salmon.

If risotto isn't your thing, however, you can always serve a steamed veggie like cauliflower, or serve some polenta with freshly roasted red peppers.

HOW TO MAKE THE MEAL:

First, pre-heat the oven to 400*F

Start with the Risotto if you bought it.  Follow the instructions on the box and then leave it to simmer and boil down, per the instructions, while you prepare the rest of the meal.

Next, place the salmon filets skin-side down (if they have skin) in a small baking dish.  Fill the dish with white wine until the edges of the salmon are submerged.  Then cake on the pesto to cover the entire exposed part of the salmon, up to a 1/4-inch thick.  Squeeze half a lemon all over the salmon, and then sprinkle on some parmesan cheese.  Place in the oven and cook initially for 12 minutes (depending on the thickness of the salmon).  You will know it's done when you stick a fork into the thickest part of the filet and the salmon flakes away (ie, breaks apart) very easily, and the color is opaque pink - translucent coloring similar to sushi means it is not done yet).  If at 12 minutes it is not ready, put it back in for increments of 2-4 minutes.

While the salmon is cooking, throw together your salad.  Even if you're maknig it from scratch, it shouldn't take more than a few minutes.

Make sure the risotto has boiled down and is ready to go, and turn the heat off.  Pull the fish from the oven, plate everything, and VOILA! Best meal everrrr :))